Top Five Authors You’ve Given Up On

(as memed by ToadOnALeash and CasaChristy)

1) Piers Anthony. I loved reading his books as a child. I loved puns back then as much as I do today. Or perhaps I should turn that statement around, as most kids love puns. But as much as I still love wordplay, his books are written for kids, and unlike JK Rowling’s works, now that I am nearing the end of my fourth decade*, his books no longer appeal to me. There are a few other authors in this category. And, yes, I do read comic books. Have you read comic books lately? Most of them aren’t written for kids.

2) Anne Rice. While I grew tired of them, I did enjoy reading her Vampire novels, and could probably be convinced to read another one, but she’s not going to write it. I enjoyed Mummy/Ramses the Damned, and would love to see the sequel she promised with the words “to be continued”. But that’s not going to happen. She found religion, and the religion wasn’t Wicca. Her current novel wasn’t written for me as the target audience, and I hold little hope for any future works.

3) Laurell K Hamilton. I have her first three books, autographed, which includes the Star Trek novel it has been said she would like to forget she wrote, and would prefer her fans never learn she wrote.** Of course, the Star Trek novel isn’t very good, but that’s not the point. There are some very good Star Trek novels out there. But hers is not one of them. No author should ever write anything they’re not proud of writing. It shows. I like the fact she is willing to set her vampire novels in St. Louis, but I grew tired of them quickly, and there is other better fiction out there set in St. Louis you can read.

One recommendation: Daniel Stolar’s Middle of the Night. It’s a collection of short stories. Only a couple are set in St. Louis, but they’re very good.

4. Seamus Heaney. I have heard from many that his poetry is excellent. I have his Selected Poems from 1966-1987, and his Selected Poems from 1966-1996. I also have his translation of Beowulf. I’ve given him enough of a chance. There’s one poem of his I like. “Mid-Term Break” It was from his collection “Death of a Naturalist” published in 1966.

5. Billy Bob Falkner. First, yes I do realize his first name is really William, and his middle name is Cuthbert. It’s a joke. Second, that is how his last name is spelled. At least, that is how his father spelled his last name. Billy Bob added the ‘u’ for reasons unknown. I’ve tried enough of his novels. I had to since I majored in English in college. He is one of the main reasons I switched from an English Literature major to an English Comp major. I am unable to force myself to read a novel I do not enjoy. His short story, A Rose for Emily is quite good, though. James Joyce, TS Eliot, and Henry James also are among the reasons for my switch.

Though I do like TS Eliot’s Ol Possum’s Book of Practical Cats. And his poem, The Love Song of J Alfred Prufrock is also good. Though not as good as Kinky Friedman’s novel, The Love Song of J Edgar Hoover.

* When I phrase my age this way, a few people who know me do get confused. When I reach the end of my fourth decade, I will obviously be 40. I will then start my fifth decade. You aren’t ten at the start of your first decade. You’re Zero.

** Yes, I know LKH mentions the Star Trek novel on her website under other books. So she’s not exactly hiding it from everyone. However, read this blog entry of hers from a couple weeks ago. She writes about her first publications. She mentions Nightseer (March, 1992) and Guilty Pleasures (1993), but not Nightshade (Dec, 1992).

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