Gonorrhea Lectim Warning
Centers for Disease Control (CDC)
THE CDC has issued a no-nonsense warning about a new, highly virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease. This disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior.
The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim (pronounced “gonna re-elect him”).
Many victims have contracted it after having been screwed for the past 4 years, in spite of having taken measures to protect themselves from this especially troublesome disease.
Cognitive sequelae of individuals infected with Gonorrhea Lectim include, but are not limited to,
- anti-social personality disorder traits;
- delusions of grandeur with a distinct messianic flavor;
- chronic mangling of the English language;
- extreme cognitive dissonance;
- inability to incorporate new information;
- pronounced xenophobia and homophobia;
- inability to accept responsibility for actions;
- exceptional cowardice masked by acts of misplaced bravado;
- uncontrolled facial smirking;
- total ignorance of geography and history;
- tendencies toward creating evangelical theocracies;
- and a strong propensity for categorical, all-or-nothing behavior.
The disease is sweeping Washington. Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed and baffled that this malignant disease originated only a few years ago in a Texas bush.
Please inform any of your friends and associates who have been acting unusual lately.
— Received in email. Author Unknown. Earliest internet appearance I have found (Dec 2004)
(Sure, I could have worked a little and updated it for the 2006 elections…tried to make it apply to re-electing current incumbents…but why bother?)