CDC Warning

Gonorrhea Lectim Warning
Centers for Disease Control (CDC)

THE CDC has issued a no-nonsense warning about a new, highly virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease. This disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior.

The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim (pronounced “gonna re-elect him”).

Many victims have contracted it after having been screwed for the past 4 years, in spite of having taken measures to protect themselves from this especially troublesome disease.

Cognitive sequelae of individuals infected with Gonorrhea Lectim include, but are not limited to,

  • anti-social personality disorder traits;
  • delusions of grandeur with a distinct messianic flavor;
  • chronic mangling of the English language;
  • extreme cognitive dissonance;
  • inability to incorporate new information;
  • pronounced xenophobia and homophobia;
  • inability to accept responsibility for actions;
  • exceptional cowardice masked by acts of misplaced bravado;
  • uncontrolled facial smirking;
  • total ignorance of geography and history;
  • tendencies toward creating evangelical theocracies;
  • and a strong propensity for categorical, all-or-nothing behavior.

The disease is sweeping Washington. Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed and baffled that this malignant disease originated only a few years ago in a Texas bush.

Please inform any of your friends and associates who have been acting unusual lately.

— Received in email. Author Unknown. Earliest internet appearance I have found (Dec 2004)

(Sure, I could have worked a little and updated it for the 2006 elections…tried to make it apply to re-electing current incumbents…but why bother?)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

+ 3 = ten