To the individual who bought the winning powerball ticket:

To the individual who bought the winning powerball ticket at Dierbergs on Tesson Ferry:

[Wait! You bought a ticket there and didn’t hear the news yet? I’ll wait for you to go to powerball.com and see if you won.]

OK, back now. You did win? Great!

I will gladly write your life story in epic poetry form.
Or ghost write your autobiography.
Or ghost write a novel for you.
You get the idea.
Can’t guarantee it will sell.
You’ll have to pay someone to market it for you.
But heck, you’re the one with the money.

I have no qualms whatsoever about returning to the days of writing on commission. Commissioned art isn’t inferior.

Of course, if you’re willing, I’d prefer a system of patronage. You pay me to create, whatever I will, and in exchange, your name goes into the history books as my patron.