Below are the top 15 search strings that have led people to my website so far this month (meaning today). Some of the items on this list are constants. They’ve been there for years. Others (such as Vampire Pickles) are relatively new. (My Website = a combination of gavroche.org and transylvaniandutch.com)
1 6 9.23% drew barrymore
2 6 9.23% drew barrymore nude
3 4 6.15% drew barrymore playboy
4 4 6.15% victor hugo
5 3 4.62% nude drew barrymore
6 2 3.08% –
7 2 3.08% drew barrymore naked
8 2 3.08% drew barrymore sexy photos
9 2 3.08% emily dickinson for kids
10 2 3.08% esmeralda
11 2 3.08% fantasy planets
12 2 3.08% naked drew barrymore
13 2 3.08% planets
14 2 3.08% swiss flag
15 2 3.08% vampire pickles
So, do you like have a lot of Drew Barrymore naked on here, and I just haven’t seen it yet?
And what’s up with number 6? 6 2 3.08% –
Nothing? So, people were searching for nothing and found your site?
And Vampire Pickles? FTW?
this is the post that xtarted it all back in 2003.
Putting the words “Drew Barrymore” into the search bar in the upper right will produce a few more entries that mention her name. Few pictures. Most people who come to my website searching for pictures of her leave disappointed.
I have no clue what’s up with #6. That’s a direct quote from my statistics page.
Put Vampire Pickles into Google, or the search bar in the upper right, you will find the post that started that. It won’t exactly explain why people are searching for Vampire Pickles…it only explains why they find my website.
I should also note that the title of my blog originally was “Politics, Religion, and Drew Barrymore”.
Here’s a look back in time at my blog courtesy of The Wayback Machine. That should also help you see what originally caused people to find my blog when searching for Drew.
Ahhhhhh. I see. Yes, we should wonder why people are searching for vampire pickles, and not pickle vampires.
Stan Du Pcomedy, Esq.
Attorney for Barrymore Enterprises
I searched for “naked drew barrymore” ala Google. TD appeared as the 34th site.
Apparently, you will have to get the actress to grant your site a license in order for you to receive revenues from the display of Miss Barrymore’s earthly remains, albeit she is also reputedly presently yet inhabiting said pounds of frolicking flesh, dressed or not, clothed or au natural.
Once you have paid this fee, your site will be connected to the drewbarrymore247365icamservice, located in the private quarters of her mansion. The monitors there will occasionally capture burred images of Miss Barrymore as she, literally, streaks by them on her to various destinations in the lavatory chambers.
Other participants of the service have commented favorably upon the large expanse of green grasses growing in the acres of field located in the corner of Miss Barrymore’s bathroom. “The fields, even on rainy days, are full of wild life, such as moles, moths and the rare moose. It is a thrill to see Miss Barrymore so fully alive, so life-like that even her fans swear that she does not at all seem to be dead.”
Sir, I must advise you that should you fail to subscribe to our service, we shall be compelled to enjoin your further display of “naked drew barrymore”s, in any fashion or representation, including by words of mouth, as in the mere utterance of the words. We do not wish to encourage the unlicensed in their free access to images of Miss Barrymore, especially of such delicate and private kinds as these — even if said images are solely the product of their crazed or overheated imaginations.
We shall look forward to your immediate reply.
/s SdP, Esq.
I’m worried about you
I live in a universe near you,
upon a rogue star, a solitary,
where planets are designed —
as in PJ Farmer’s Tiers World.
How are the search strings leading people to the Dutch, so far this month?
It would seem as if, when you post these strings, esspecially on the first of the month, that you are sowing the seeds of the future harvest… to reap the winds of their furies.
On the first day of the month I can occasionally spot some of the more unique search strings. By the end of the month they get buried. Here are the top 15 now:
1 402 9.13% drew barrymore nude
2 375 8.52% drew barrymore playboy
3 367 8.34% drew barrymore
4 367 8.34% drew barrymore naked
5 221 5.02% victor hugo
6 91 2.07% swiss flag
7 63 1.43% victor hugo poems
8 53 1.20% drew barrymore sex
9 52 1.18% drew bar-
10 48 1.09% esmeralda
11 36 0.82% naked drew barrymore
12 34 0.77% victor hugo poetry
13 33 0.75% quasimodo
14 27 0.61% drew barrymore topless
15 26 0.59% nude drew barrymore
Those searching for “swiss flag” are doing so in google images.
I thought the search for the eponymous writings of “DL Emerick” would have reached the top of the listings by now. I guess I’ll have to keep trying.
You might notice that the number of hits “26” for the fifteenth ranked item above is fairly low, and easily achievable by one dedicated person. If you searched for your name in google twice a day, every day, for a month, and followed the link to my site, your name should appear on the list.
It would work for my name too.
Getting as high as number 6 will require more than 4 times a day, but still achievable by a dedicated individual. Becoming more popular than Drew Barrymore – totaling all her appearances in the top 15 list – you’re going to need more than 1700 hits and that’s only in the first 21 days of the month. You’ll need 81 hits a day. If you had nothing else to do with your life, you could do it, but you would be better off recruiting some help – or finding something else to do.
I’ll wait to stuff the ballot until the election has a meaningful result.