Yes, I’m posting a chain e-post

Posted by John - September 22nd, 2008

Not sure if this activates the curse or not, as I’m not forwarding a chain-email, I am posting a chain-email that was turned into a chain e-post. Additionally, the poster didn’t insist I post it forward, it’s intended for humor, and finally, it was Wil Wheaton.

REQUEST FOR URGENT CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP
From: Minister of the Treasury Paulson

Subject: REQUEST FOR URGENT CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP

Dear American:

I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.

I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.

I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.

This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.

Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.

Yours Faithfully
Minister of Treasury Paulson

3 Responses to “Yes, I’m posting a chain e-post”

  1. DL Emerick

    Seven Principles for Reacting to the Financial Panic of 2008

    1. Fire the bad guys.
    Fire Paulson, Bernanke, and the rest of the Economic Team.
    They don’t know what to do;
    They’ve done a miserable job these last 2 years ago.
    Do NOT hire Wall Street firms who made the mess to clean it up.
    DO NOT pay big commissions or high salaries unless they perform.
    Democracy needs no dictators, and no polity needs bad ones.

    2. Never sign a blank check — especially not one as large as this one.
    How big would the check be?
    Last month they asked for $300B?
    Friday, $700B to buy mortgage-related debt of US companies.
    Sunday, $1T to $2T to buy any bad US debt of any company in world.
    And, they said, if we need more, we’ll be back to ask for it.
    They just don’t know what they are doing or what it will cost.

    3. No CASH FOR TRASH program: if you invest, get fair equity for risk.

    4. If panic rules, shut Markets down until a wise plan can be made.
    The Markets do not always have to be open.
    Stop trying to improvise a world economy; it’s too complex.

    5. Insist on adequate new regulatory regime, now — not later.
    If you wait, they’ll resist when recovered; then history repeats.
    Demand oversight accountability and transparency.
    Insist on real standards; not an anything-goes-regime of whimsy.

    6. Address the problem of paying the tax bill now.
    Raise $1T to $2T in new taxes — or restore old taxes Bush cut.
    Under no circumstances cut taxes as the fool Bush again asks.

    7. Help Main Street, as least as well as and before you help Wall Street.
    Main Street didn’t cause the problem, so they truly deserve help 1st.
    Increase job assistance programs and unemployment benefits.
    Have a mortgage adjustment program and a foreclosure holiday.

    Tough times come, my friends. We have sown winds and reap whirlwinds.

  2. Blair

    Nah, this shouldn’t activate the curse. You’re not forwarding it, people have to choose to visit your site and this doesn’t end with any of that nonsense with negative consequences if you don’t forward it.

    But I’m gonna copy it along anyhow. (Via web, not email, of course.)

  3. DL Emerick

    I did too. And I went over to the source blog and posted my thanks for the fine piece. (Used an alias, like yak-a-tak, though instead of my real nom-de-plume alias, DL Emerick.

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