If I had a Phaser – A Filk

Filk music = folk music for narrow values of ‘o’.
or Filk music = science fiction/fantasy related music.

One common sub-genre is the parody song which changes the lyrics to a well-known song — often for humor. (e.g. Weird Al’s song ‘Yoda’.)

Here’s a filk I wrote last night

If I had a Phaser
©2009 John C Newmark
(To the tune of If I had a Hammer, by Pete Seeger and Lee Hays)

If I had a phaser
I’d fire at the Klingons
I’d fire at the Cardies
All over the quad
I’d fire with pleasure
I’d fire without warning
I’d fire out war against the Klingons and the Cardies
All over the quad

If I had a sword
I’d strike it at the Klingons
I’d strike it at the Cardies
All over the quad
I’d strike with pleasure
I’d strike without warning
I’d strike out war against the Klingons and the Cardies
All over the quad

If I had a song
I’d sing it at the Klingons
I’d sing it at the Cardies
All over the quad
I’d sing with pleasure
I’d sing without warning
I’d sing out war against the Klingons and the Cardies
All over the quad

Well I’ve got a phaser
And I’ve got a sword
And I’ve got a song to sing
All over the quad
It’s the phaser of Starfleet
It’s the sword of Sulu
It’s the song about war against the Klingons and the Cardies
All over the quad