Today’s prompt at ReadWritePoem: “Write a poem in which you combine a speaker and an event that normally don’t go together”

Warning: The imagery in this poem may not be appropriate for meal time

Rush Limbaugh’s Awakening

I must admit when I took
the Pagan coven up on
its offer to join their
equinocturnal party

I din’t think sleeping
sky-clad
could be so much fun

and after we sacrificed
the pumpkin to Osiris
I realized while Jesus

was incapable
of healing my pain
I no longer needed
OxyContin.

Today’s prompt at Poetic Asides: “write an exhausted poem”

Why I Hate Eugene Houdry

As I listen to the engine,
I imagine
I’m Audrey Hepburn
and I’ll wake up in Paris
and finally learn to cook

but then I realize
Audrey is dead
as are Humphrey and Holden
and maybe soon I’ll be in line
to get their autographs.

The car keeps running
and nothing happens,
because no one told me
Sabrina was filmed
pre catalytic converters.

I should have used a hibachi.