Dear John emails

Here follow two responses I recently received from the same magazine regarding two fiction submissions. First is the exact wording, in full. (These were short responses.) Second is the way I translated it.

1)

Dear John,

Your submission, “X”, was not right for [name of magazine], but thank you for thinking of us.

Dear John,

We don’t publish this kind of material in our magazine; what are you, stoned?

2)

Dear John,

Thank you for letting us read your work. We will not be publishing “Y”,
but we enjoyed it and would like to see more.

Dear John,

We enjoyed reading this, but we aren’t going to publish it anyway, because we don’t publish stuff we enjoy reading. But please send us more stuff we can enjoy reading, and not publish.

0 thoughts on “Dear John emails

  1. royston

    Dear PRINCESS,
    My name is Royston from Africa and living in the United States, Texas San Antonio, 20 yrs old going 21 this summer. You have been my greatest star ever. All i want to do is shake your hands. I dont know if I can stand looking at your face. But now I am just dieing for a hand shake. I dont know how to get to you. You are my true star.
    Roy