Here follow two responses I recently received from the same magazine regarding two fiction submissions. First is the exact wording, in full. (These were short responses.) Second is the way I translated it.
Your submission, “X”, was not right for [name of magazine], but thank you for thinking of us.
We don’t publish this kind of material in our magazine; what are you, stoned?
Thank you for letting us read your work. We will not be publishing “Y”,
but we enjoyed it and would like to see more.
We enjoyed reading this, but we aren’t going to publish it anyway, because we don’t publish stuff we enjoy reading. But please send us more stuff we can enjoy reading, and not publish.