Tanzanian Devils and the BSA

The following news story, which I wrote, first appeared at Newspoetry.com a little over a year ago

This is satire, based on actual news stories from July 31-Aug 5, 2001. Excerpts from the news stories appear afterwards.

BSA seeks to exclude Tanzanian Devils from organization

(Associated Poets – Wash. DC) — Four missing Tanzanian Boy Scouts, visitors to a national jamboree in Virginia, have reappeared, possibly seeking asylum. While no decision has been made yet by the INS, an official from the Boy Scouts of America (BSA) has expressed a desire to keep them out of the US youth organization.

“Within the past week the European Court declared Islam contrary to the principles of the European Community. We at the BSA see this as enough reason to take the opportunity to to add Muslims to our list of despised, inferior peoples not permitted access to our organization.”

When asked if the Boston Scout Council might allow them in, if the kids agreed not to speak about their religion, the official said he wasn’t sure, but he hoped not. “Though we wouldn’t know if the children were Muslims, we’ve been told 1/3 of Tanzania practices this so-called religion. If they do seek asylum in the US, that’s great and all, we wish them luck, but we don’t want to take the chance of allowing any Tanzanian Devils into our organization.”

When told he was confusing “Tanzanian” with “Tasmanian” the BSA official had no response.

News Stories:

  • July 31, 2001: Islamist Party Banned in Turkey
  • The European Court of Human Rights upheld Turkey’s decision to ban an Islamist party because it wanted to establish Islamic law, which it said “was in marked contrast to the values embodied in the (European) Convention.”

  • Aug 1, 2001: Four Tanzanian Boy Scouts
  • Four Boy Scouts — ages 14, 16, 16 and 17 — who had traveled 10,000 miles from Tanzania to attend the quadrennial National Scout Jamboree became lost, and were later found. Justice Department officials said they were trying to determine whether the Scouts were seeking asylum or whether their wanderlust was an adolescent prank.

  • Aug 5, 2001: Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
  • Boston’s Boy Scout council decided to adopt a ‘don’t ask-don’t tell’ policy that would allow gay scoutmasters to be affiliated without technically violating the national ban against them.

    Recent News concerning discrimination and the BSA.