Julia Roberts is a horrible mother

Julia Roberts is a horrible mother. She (and her husband) named their newborn son Phinnaeus, and their newborn daughter Hazel. It was their first decision as parents, and they decided to be cruel.

1) My suspicion is, with their son, they are very bad spellers, and were making reference to the recent remake of Verne’s classic Around the World in Eighty Days. Unfortunately, the protagonist in that book/film is Phineas Fogg.

However, it is possible they spelled the name correctly, and they are interested in The general methods of brain/behaivor analyses and are making reference to a famous case of accidental brain injury.

Or a little more likely they are fans of the Christian Rock group Juggernautz which have a song subtitled ‘j-nautz vs Phinnaeus’ on an album.

It could also be a ‘family name’ but when you put the name into google, and only get a grand total of 14 references, most of them to one of the two above scenarios, it’s doubtful.

2) Unless a family name, Hazel is likely either the maid from the 1960s sitcom, or a reference to the plant the Witch Hazel. Hoperfully the former. Regardless, the name suggests to me someone who is over 60. But maybe the name is staging a comeback.

Both kids will be teased about their names. Phinnaeus more so. Hopefully their decisions as parents improve — but this was an important one, and in my opinion, they failed.

Of course, neither child has been gifted with “moon unit” or “dweezil”. There are definitely examples of entertainment figures who were crueler.

Listening to: Lumpy Gravy