Drew Barrymore Having Sex

I promise all readers a picture of Drew wearing very little if you are patient…

So far in the month of February 3 people have found my blog by going to a search engine and typing the words: Drew Barrymore having sex

Not a whole lot. But when you consider that nowhere on my site have I ever put those words together in a sentence (up until now), it’s impressive.

Sure. There is my weblog title. And the phrase “having sex” has been used before.

But does that truly explain why at google.com the search for the phrase: Drew Barrymore having sex lists my blog as the #1 choice.

(I mean, before today.)

I should be on the list, no question about it But aren’t there websites out there (you know the ones I’m talking about) that should be higher up in the list than me? Surely the sites that have pictures of Drew Barrymore Naked, or Drew Barrymore Nude should rank higher, right?

Please, no emails about Google’s PageRank system. I actually understand the situation completely. Google ranks its pages by how many other people link to the page, and how many people link to the pages that link to yours….and millions of people link to my blog in general

Wait a minute, that’s not actually true. You can search at Google to see all the sites it knows about that link somewhere.

I run a webring called the Jewish Blogger’s Webring, and the homepage links here. A short bio of myself at tribalsoulkitchen.com links here. (I’ve had some poetry published there, and I kind of am an editor of the zine.) And there are 36 comments I posted at 2 different blogs that link here. A total of 38 links. (36 is actually 2*18, and 18 is symbolic of ‘life” in Jewish mysticism, so this is kinda cool)

Well, one of those 2 blogs is perhaps one of the most popular blogs on the net. Is it really that easy? Do I really have Wil Wheaton to thank for this?

There might be an additional influence. I’m not sure Google differentiates much between pages in a site I think it might be counting links to Victor Hugo Central in ranking my blog. I’ve been developing this obsession-based research site for much longer than my blog, and it’s quite popular.

[By the way, this is a totally different kind of obsession than my obsession with Drew Barrymore I do not desire to do to Hugo what I desire to do to Drew. I am not a necrophiliac, nor GLBT. Some really good friends are the latter, though. It's possible I have friends who are the former, and just haven't mentioned it to me. (And if one is reading this now. DONT TELL ME!)] Victor Hugo is kinda related to Drew Barrymore in that he was addicted to sex when he was alive. At age seventy he is supposed to have had 40 different partners over a five month span averaging 1 sexual encounter a day. Not bad for age seventy. He is alleged to have said, “Imagination is intelligence with an erection.”

Almost 50 sites link to Victor Hugo CentralQuidditch.com’s page on Lemony Snicket allusions even links there…and while I have never read Lemony Snicket, I’ve heard they’re great books, almost as good as JK Rowling’s Harry Potter novels, and I can’t wait for Order of the Phoenix.

So what does this all mean? I think it means any page I put on my domain is going to shoot up to the top of Google’s lists whether I want it to or not. Something I should really test out. I could create a page that mentions a lot of different popular search phrases…let’s say:
Drew Barrymore having sex
Harry Potter
Lemony Snicket
Victor Hugo
Erections
Drew Barrymore nude
Drew Barrymore naked
Quidditch
Necrophilia
Jewish Mysticism
Wil Wheaton

and just see what happens.

But for all of those of you who have been patient, and read this far. All you kids out there dying to know whether or not I will post a picture of Drew Barrymore Having Sex. After all…that is the title of this piece, and I promised at the top at least one picture of Drew

Well…I didn’t lie…but it’s in the hidden half of this….

It IS Drew. And she’s topless.

Here’s a picture you might like better:

That’s the best I think I can do. My hosting service doesn’t allow porn, so I have to be somewhat cautious. But if you can’t find the millions of pics on the internet of her wearing even less…just go to Google’s Image Search and type in her name. It’s really that easy, kids. Make sure “Safe Search” is “OFF”. (If somehow you are prevented from turning it off…talk to your parents…they should be able to help you…)

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