Monthly Archives: June 2002

Daily News

Paul McCartney appears to be considering forming a new band…

Have you read any good bonkbusters lately?

SparkNotes…a competitor for the better-known Cliffs Notes…is producing a study guide for Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone

For awhile…the Beatles and Elvis have been tied for #1 hit singles with 17…that record has now been surpassed

And apparently, Scotland, is quickly becoming a tourist-trap for aliens.

Global Warming

Tom Tomorrow, cartoonist behind This Modern World certainly gets some interesting email at times…the below appears on his journal:

Last week’s cartoon on the topic of global warming inspired the usual spate of email from self-proclaimed experts on the topic…

One of the panels in that cartoon referenced rising sea levels, inspiring one woman to inform me that “Antarctica melting will result in only a 10ft difference in the height of the sea level, and no one should be living that close anyway.”

I know it isn’t news that there are stupid people in the world….but I am really amazed at someone who can imagine the sea-level rising in Antarctica 10 ft, but remaining the same everywhere else….Perhaps she hasn’t noticed that the water from the faucet in her bathtub fills the bathtub evenly…the water isn’t higher nearer to the faucet.

Perhaps she thinks that the water will only come in 10 feet from the shoreline across the world…but height isn’t width. If the water is filled to the brim of her bathtub…it can’t rise another 10 feet without filling the entire bathroom with water to the same height.

Yeah….I’m in the Midwest…pretty far from the Atlantic or the Pacific Oceans….But it also occurs to me that I live in a city on the edge of a river that flows into the Gulf of Mexico. We’ve had flood problems in the past. Mostly from rain…but if the Gulf of Mexico rises 10 feet, it’s probably going to affect us too.

Reminds me of the old Anatomy song:

The Antarctic Ocean’s connected to the Pacific Ocean
The Pacific Ocean’s connected to the Atlantic Ocean
The Atlantic Ocean’s connected to the Indian Ocean…

Excuse me, my tooth is ringing….

They’re close to inventing a mobile phone that can be implanted into a tooth.

Sound, which comes into the tooth as a digital radio signal, is transferred to the inner ear by bone resonance, meaning information can be received anywhere and at any time — and nobody else can listen in

A few thoughts:

1) Cellphones are already intrusive on our homelife as is. Once upon a time we were safe from being called by our bosses when we went out to dinner, or to a theater. Now with our cellphones, we are reachable almost at all times.

But with the tooth phone…even if we have the power not to pick up, what excuse could we give for not doing so?

2) What if it were voice-activated, and we talked in our sleep? We could end up calling someone else, and talking to them all night…and we’d have no recollection in the morning what we told them!!

3) Nobody can listen? Sure. What makes them think the digital radio signal can’t be intercepted? They probably think their cellphone conversations are private, too.

Excuse me, my tooth is ringing….

They’re close to inventing a mobile phone that can be implanted into a tooth.

Sound, which comes into the tooth as a digital radio signal, is transferred to the inner ear by bone resonance, meaning information can be received anywhere and at any time — and nobody else can listen in

A few thoughts:

1) Cellphones are already intrusive on our homelife as is. Once upon a time we were safe from being called by our bosses when we went out to dinner, or to a theater. Now with our cellphones, we are reachable almost at all times.

But with the tooth phone…even if we have the power not to pick up, what excuse could we give for not doing so?

2) What if it were voice-activated, and we talked in our sleep? We could end up calling someone else, and talking to them all night…and we’d have no recollection in the morning what we told them!!

3) Nobody can listen? Sure. What makes them think the digital radio signal can’t be intercepted? They probably think their cellphone conversations are private, too.

protest

Silencing Dissent

“Cheer for Bush, or face arrest, OSU grads informed….as graduates who had planned to protest by simply turning their backs to Bush during his speech were informed that if they did so they would be arrested and expelled (no diploma).”

All of the students appear to have been cowed into submission. Sadly during the 2000 election, both Republicans and Democrats forcibly removed protesters from speeches…but they always tried to claim that the protesters were a disruption. Here the proposed demonstration would have been completely silent and symbolic. (just slightly disrespectful)

There is no evidence I’ve seen so far whether the origin of the “arrest” threat came from Bush or OSU. I am hopeful it is not the arrest threat that cowed the students, as I’d hope they’d respond, “Fine, arrest us for peaceful protest, give us and yourself 15 minutes of fame…we don’t care.” Once upon a time the whole point of protest was to get arrested.

But expulsion, and revoking one’s diploma, on the day of graduation, is something altogether different. Today, I laugh at the mere idea of the threat, knowing there’s no way that the diplomas would stay revoked. (Private colleges might have the legal right to revoke them for any reason…but once crucified by the press, they’d turn around and apologize. I suspect a good proportion of Alumni might threaten not to give them their annual contributions. Always a good incentive for a college to rethink their actions. But OSU isn’t private, so there might be some legal issues) But I am 10 years older and wiser than these students. And I am removed from the situation. I think I can understand why the threat might have worked.

I hope the entire threat was entirely a misconceived idea of OSU’s to show the ‘Resident respect. I hope Bush didn’t have his hand in it. But unfortunately I suspect that might not be the case.

Once Upon a Parrot Sketch

Once upon a time it was alright to end a fairy tale with “and they lived happily ever after.” But today, with Hollywood lacking any originality, that’s no longer any good.

So of course there will be a Shrek II: The Wrath of Shrek (perhaps that won’t be the title)

One wonders if John Cleese doesn’t have the best judgment anymore on which projects to tackle…his latest tv show lasted 2 weeks…

In related news

Self-Image

When we look at others, who have done more than we, and are better than we, we begin very soon to hate our own life. — Vincent Van Gogh

Is it hubris or irony
to be proud of the fact
one’s view of one’s work
mirror’s Van Gogh’s?

They say some of history’s
greatest artists
had no idea
how great they were.

What they fail to mention —
out of all the artists
who feel their work is crap
90% are probably correct.

On the other hand,
out of all the artists
who feel their work is great
90% are probably incorrect.

There are some people
who have tried to convince me
I am in the wrong 10%
and this encourages me.

However, the millions of adoring fans
who should be following me around
chanting my name–ripping off my clothes
haven’t materialized.

Earthquakes

(also rescued from the bottom of a box full of papers)

Remember the earthquake California had in 1992? Afterwards scientists said earthquakes were so unpredictable.

It seems one week earlier there was some underground nuclear testing
in nearby Nevada. Of course, there’s no connection.

Scientists do claim, however, there may be a connection between the earthquakes and the renowned eccentricity of Californians. Not the connection the Religious Right have claimed for years — earthquakes are God’s punishment — but the reverse. Earthquakes have an effect on the human mind.

Of course, nuclear testing might also have an effect, but that would only confuse the issue, so scientists aren’t looking there.

Rescued Words

Giong through some old boxes, I found many things I wrote, but never quite made it into my computer files. With my tendency to write about the news story of the week, much of this is outdated. Some of it is timeless.

one of each.

May 1999

Five screens, five showings each.
Lines forming two hours before the film
Not for tickets, but for good seats.
I’ve been to better movies where
I was the only one in the theater.

But I’ve seen this film three times now.
More than any other in my life
Because I like hanging out with my friends
And these friends are insane.

(maybe not so out of date as it might first appear….)

Where?

I miss her, she’s been away so long. I’ve returned hoping to find her, but she’s not here. Maybe she will be, so I’ll wait.

It’s been so long, I’m not sure why I stopped coming. Maybe it’s because she never showed up. Not really. There were a few times I thought she was here. I could almost smell her, and feel her warm touch. But it wasn’t her exactly. I’ve looked elsewhere with as little luck.

I don’t know what about her it was exactly, but whenever I was with her I felt comfort all over. I miss her, can’t find her, but I look–hopeful that tonight I might feel her touch again. Tonight might be the night of her return.

Food Fight

Somebody needs to take certain advertising agencies by the throat, and make them suffer immense pain. I do not *WANT* my food talking to me. The commercials years ago were torturous enough. But if I hear one of these speak to me when I’m walking through a supermarket, I’m picking it up, and throwing it against the wall. If a whole shelf full are speaking to me, there’s going to be a lot of butter on the floor. And I ain’t paying for it. They can’t lock me up…I’m not a threat to society…I’m only a threat to talking food containers. It’s the talking food containers that are a threat to society.