Been out of town for 10 days. I guess I won’t do that again, if this is what happens while I am gone…

So, a weird sect claims to have cloned the first human. Cool, I guess they’ve beaten the Italian Scientist who claimed last month that one would be born in January. Of course…that’s if either claim ends up being true.

Ultimately, regardless of who does it, it will be done. 1995 or so the first human embryo was cloned, and it was estimated that in 70 years or so, the first human adult would be cloned. That ‘0’ was obviously misplaced, and belonged in front of the ‘7’. Science moving faster than predicted isn’t surprising, but the difference between 7 and 70 is pretty large. I’d like our scientists to be a little more accurate in the future please?

California school discovers teen is a Lesbian.

They decide the logical, rational thing to do is to ban her from the girl’s locker
room.

Of course, the teen, even more logical and rational than them, asks the question, “Why?”

She’s done nothing wrong, and the school does all it can to alienate her from her classmates. So she goes to the ACLU.

read more here.

California school discovers teen is a Lesbian.

They decide the logical, rational thing to do is to ban her from the girl’s locker
room.

Of course, the teen, even more logical and rational than them, asks the question, “Why?”

She’s done nothing wrong, and the school does all it can to alienate her from her classmates. So she goes to the ACLU.

read more here.

Under the USA PATRIOT Act, the FBI is allowed to put taps on library
Internet terminals and monitor user activities, and librarians aren’t
allowed to tell anyone about this.

Lots of librarians really hate this, and so one intrepid librarian has
created a series of technically legal signs to tip off library patrons to
the presence of snoopware on their Internet connection.

more suggestions

From an article on #2 GOP leader, Sen. Nickles, calling for a GOP vote on whether to keep or ditch Lott as their leader:

Some Republicans working on Lott’s behalf, meanwhile, are circulating records showing that Nickles’s voting record on civil rights isn’t much different from Lott’s. Lott and Nickles voted against making Martin Luther King’s birthday a federal holiday and against the Civil Rights Act of 1990. Both supported a tax exemption benefiting Bob Jones University, despite its policies discriminating against minorities and prohibiting interracial dating.”

So let me get this straight….supporters of Lott are making the argument, “Don’t drop Lott as the GOP leader, because Nickles is just as bad.”

Makes sense to me.

Of course, the Democrats need to step carefully. There’s a minefield in WV that could easily be triggered. Of course, the Democrats don’t need to defend Sen. Byrd, past, present or future. He doesn’t hold a position of leadership in the party. There was a period of time in the 70s when he did, but that isn’t the case anymore. It’s now up solely to the people of WV to decide whether they want him as their representative.

JK Rowling auctioned off for charity 93 words giving clues to the plot of her delayed fifth novel, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. There is no word yet whether the winning bidder will reveal what the 93 words are. The auction house has revealed 9 of them.

Converting someone is a difficult task when they don’t want to be converted. But it becomes a whole lot easier once they’re dead. Apparently, baptizing dead people is actually encouraged by the Mormon Church. Technically, Mormons are only encouraged to baptize dead non-Mormon relatives….but many aren’t that particular. Thousands of Holocaust victims, and famous Jews such as Albert Einstein, Menachim Begin, Marc Chagall, and Hank Greenberg.

Also among those baptized posthumously by the church: Genghis Khan, Joan of Arc, Adolf Hitler, Josef Stalin and Buddha.

***

I can hear the joke now:

Buddha, Joan of Arc and baseball player Hank Greenberg arrive at the pearly
gates…

***

How to Win Friends, Influence People, and Convert Dead Souls

What do Genghis Khan
Buddha
Marc Chagall
and Joan of Arc
have in common?

They’ve all been baptized
into the Mormon church.

Albert Einstein
Adolf Hitler
Hank Greenberg
and thousands of Holocaust survivors
have also received the dubious honor.

None of them asked for it.

Converting someone
is a difficult task
when they’re alive.
They can resist.

Just ask King David.
Saul made him convert
100 Philistine warriors.
He too waited until they were dead.

David even helped
the process along a bit,
by killing them,
and no one’s accused the Mormons of that,
but still a lot of people are upset.

Baptism by proxy
may be a lot less messy
than adult circumcision,
which was David’s task,
but it’s just as undesirable.

Update 02/04: The above was written in anger after reading news articles that didn’t go into enough detail about the Mormon custom. Mormons do feel that the conversion is still a voluntary process in that the soul of the one being baptized gets to freely choose. On the other hand, they still are only supposed to do the proxy-baptizing for family members. There appear to be a few over zealous members of the community. In short, I am not a hateful person, but I do react strongly to stories of forced conversions.

Wilding Revisited

Over a decade ago
‘Wilding’ entered our vocabulary.
No longer will it mean
what we’ve taken it to mean til now.

Today we learn in the news
the boys confessed to a crime
they didn’t commit.
The real perpetrator has been found.

One who remembers exact details
thirteen years later
better than the boys could
a week after the fact.

Difficult questions
are beginning to be asked.
Teens are known for their penchant
to exaggerate their accomplishments;

Why were they arrested
and other suspects ignored?

Of Mice and Men

Scientists have now published
the genetic code of mice.
No one has asked the mice
whether they want their code published.

As a computer programmer
I value the copyright on my code,
and worry about the precedent
this might set.

Supposedly 3/4 of all humans
are mouse,
or maybe 3/4 of all mice
are human.

I might be confused,
but this certainly could explain
why I like cheese,
and elephants fear me.

Why you need to brush your teeth.

A new theory states
life on planet Earth
began in our cavities.

[The more observant will notice this is a 5-5-7 haiku ]

Libel

A grand jury has indicted
Strom Thurmond and six
congressional employees
on sex abuse charges.

80 years ago at Harvard University a secret court was convened. 14 men were labeled as homosexual, and those who were students were forced to leave Cambridge.

The current President of Harvard referred to the incident as “abhorrent and an affront to the values of our university…We are a better and more just community today because those attitudes have changed as much as they have.”

Across the country, attitudes may not have changed that much though. Instead of forcing offenders out of town, though, they’re just arrested. The Supreme Court will soon discuss once again anti-Sodomy laws. They last discussed them in 1986. There are four states in the nation that still arrest people for the crime of sodomy. However, they only arrest homosexuals who commit sodomy, heterosexuals are free to commit the act. The four states are Texas, Missouri, Kansas and Oklahoma.