Archive for 7/4/2008 - 1 Tamuz, 5768

Male juror falls asleep while watching porn movie. (Friends and Co-workers will never let him forget this)

I’ve never seen a purple bear, I never hope to see one, but I will tell you if you care, I’d rather see one than be one.

Are those nanites in your pants, or are you glad to see me?

Glow in the dark elephants

The Hemlock Society is no more. R.I.P.

According to a scientific study Kansas **is** flatter than a pancake.

Starting with today’s addition, the strips will not be posted here. They have found their own page. Make Louvre (Not War). There’s a link at the right side of this blog as well.

These have not been submitted to Poetry.com as they do not meet Dave’s requirements exactly…but I decided to post them here. Apologies to William Carlos Williams…

The brown german shepherd

So much depends
upon

the brown german
shepherd

suffering from hunger
pains

eating the toes
of mother.

This is Just to Say

I have eaten
the toes
that were on
your mother

and which
she was probably
hoping
to keep

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and juicy

Installment #6 and #7 of my new comic strip. I’ve set up some standardized templates, so they should all be roughly the same dimensions in the future. My ideas don’t appear to be abating, and I’m enjoying this a lot, so for now it looks like I am going to continue.

There is probably a slight copyright issue involved with these installments. Being that I used sculptures, albeit ones that are several hundred years old, there was photography involved. And it’s not my photography. Ah well, I’m not making any money off this yet. Once I do, I’ll take a trip to several museums with my camera.
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I think I’ve come up with a potential title for my political cartoons.

Make Louvre (Not War)

Dave Barry is encouraging people to go to Poetry.com (The company famous for publishing your submitted poetry in books you can buy for $50, and maybe you’ll win a prize). The catch: Enter it under a penname with first name “Freemont” and it must contain the line “The dog ate mother’s toes”.

There are at this point over 400 of these. (Easily searchable by first name)

Here is one of the most recent:

Rover

We’ve had Rover for ten years now –
a friendly, loving, dog.
He’d bark at the occasional mailman,
but he’d border on the edge of freedom kissing
everyone else.

We don’t know what it was exactly.
It might have been the news
that weapons of mass destruction
still hadn’t been found in Iraq.

It might have been out of sympathy
for Robert Wagner
who’s been cheated out of money
for his role in Charlie’s Angels.

It might even have something to do with
the Dutch company Tulip
resurrecting the Commodore 64.

Regardless
this morning
the dog ate mother’s toes.

Freemont C Gavroche

I’m going to need to come up with a title for these….
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Don’t worry….I won’t stop writing poetry….

Rhetorical Question

Clinton was attacked
By Conservatives
For his focusing
On the definition
Of the word, ìis.î

How will they react
When Dubya tries to use
Language as a defense?

I have long thought I could draw some funny, insightful, satirical political cartoons if not for one small problem. I can’t draw. Oh sure, I can draw stick figures…but after a couple panels, the reader is sure to grow a little tired of them. I’ve toyed with the idea of finding someone who can draw, but I’d have to also find someone I can work with. Not necessarily an easy task.

I help edit Tribalsoulkitchen. It is an ezine for poetry, fiction, and essays. It began as a place for fans of Jim Morrison and the Doors to share their creativity, but it has grown a little beyond that. Anyway, as one of the editors, I find myself searching the internet for artwork to decorate literary submissions. For legal purposes, I focus on artwork created by people who died at least 75 years ago. I want stuff that is in the public domain. Occasionally I will contact people and ask for permission to use their artwork, but it is a lot easier to find items which I do not need to seek permission for.

Today I had a brainstorm. What if….Could I make it work?…There’s only one way to find out. Below are my first three political cartoons. Tell me what you think.
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Bush’s claim in Jan 2003 State of the Union that Iraq sought to purchase Uranium from Africa revealed as bogus. And apparently, a CIA report indicating the inaccuracy of the information was supplied to the White House a year prior.

1) Bush knew, and deliberately deceived the American People
2) The information never reached the President

Someone needs to be either impeached, or fired. As Sen. Ted Kennedy said “We cannot risk American lives because of shoddy intelligence or outright lies.”

Anatomically correct Incredible Hulk figure won by 6 year old girl at a fair.

Big Tits is a French racehorse. The news story reveals the modern French phrase for this is Gros Nichons. Of course, slang evolves in France, just as it does elsewhere. a couple centuries ago, French Explorers preferred the term “Grand Tetons.”

Drew Barrymore lights her bum on fire (allegedly accidentally) while filming Charlie’s Angels II

A young Taiwanese female author, nabbed by police on charges of soliciting for prostitution, says she was offering herself for sexual services to enrich her
experience for her books, police said….

I can definitely understand the author’s dilemma. “Write what you know.” we are told. How do you write about it, if you haven’t experienced it?

Method Writing I: Winona Ryder and Me
Method Writing II: Pete Townshend