Monthly Archives: March 2004

The O’Franken Factor

Political Satirist Al Franken, and others, have commenced airing an “alternative” to Conservative Talk Radio. Air America started airing in a handful of cities across the US today at noon (Eastern).

If no local station is airing the programming at the moment (as is the case in St. Louis), if you get XM Satellite radio, you can tune it to Channel 167. Or you can go to and listen to it in streaming audio. (Real Player required)

The O’Franken Factor

Political Satirist Al Franken, and others, have commenced airing an “alternative” to Conservative Talk Radio. Air America started airing in a handful of cities across the US today at noon (Eastern).

If no local station is airing the programming at the moment (as is the case in St. Louis), if you get XM Satellite radio, you can tune it to Channel 167. Or you can go to and listen to it in streaming audio. (Real Player required)

Religious Freedom in the US Part II

I talked previously about France outlawing head coverings in schools, and about a couple US states that allow schools to prohibit teachers from wearing religious head coverings.

However, there is a School in Oklahoma in the news that bans all “hats, caps, bandannas or jacket hoods inside school buildings.” A Muslim girl’s parents have sued for the right of their child to wear a head scarf. And the Dept of Justice is thankfully supporting the side of the parents.

“No student should be forced to choose between following her faith and enjoying the benefits of a public education.” — Assistant Attorney General for Civil Rights Alex Acosta

Hopefully, this will just be another case among many where an individual school makes a poor decision in crafting its rules, and need the courts to explain the constitution to them.


Actor, and former model Michael Bergin has written a book called, The Other Man, detailing his affair with the late Carolyn Bessette (JFK Jr.’s wife). The NY Post has some even more shocking details (naturally).

The ABC news story mentions that Michael Bergin claims Carolyn told him she suspected JFK Jr was having an affair too.

I know it will come as a shock to many, but I have a confession to make…I was the guy he was having an affair with! I’ve started writing the book now. If the NY Post, or any other newspaper is interested in the details, all they have to do is contact me.

Is this the 1950s??

Search Continues for U. of Wisconsin Coed. This is the headline on a Fox News story.

I should note the story is actually an Associated Press story, but the word “coed” only appears in the headline. It is my understanding that the news source that uses the AP story writes the headline.

You can search for text from the article on Google News and come up with a list of those who have printed the story. At this moment in time, every occurrence uses the word “Student”, or the woman’s name, except for Fox News. They’ve chosen to use the word “Coed.”

Quote of the Day

“You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline – it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.”

— Frank Zappa

I’d like to add the addendum, ‘and it helps if the beer from your country doesn’t taste like horse urine.’ Of course, there would be some individuals who will go unnamed who would query how I know what horse urine tastes like. I write poetry and fiction. I have a creative mind. So I can state with authority, Horse urine tastes (sigh) like the beer made in my hometown. And my authority is as unquestionable as a New York Times columnist’s. (sigh)

Quoting Scripture

Kerry visited a church Sunday and quoted scripture.

‘What does it profit my brother if someone says he has faith, but does not have works,'” Kerry continued. “When we look at what is happening in America today, ‘Where are the works?’ For it is also written, ‘The doers of the word are no hearers only.

Bush was upset Kerry quoted scripture:

Bush campaign spokesman Steve Schmidt said Kerry’s comment “was beyond the bounds of acceptable discourse and a sad exploitation of Scripture for a political attack.”

So I guess this means that Bush never quotes scripture for political reasons? (Insert laughter here.)

This wasn’t difficult to find at all…

The current Bush frequently quotes Scripture and invokes prayer. He quoted the biblical prophet Isaiah in his State of the Union speech last month. (2/7/2003 Gannett News Service)

And lets not forget that Dubya Declared June 10, 2000 as “Jesus Day” in the State of Texas. Now, lets also remember the election was in November 2000. Does anyone at all believe that his proclamation as Governor of Texas was not political in any way?


The AFP refers to itself as “the world’s oldest established news agency”, “a top quality international service” “represents editorial quality and reliability, a reputation built since the agency was founded in 1835.”

Here’s the opening paragraph of an AFP news story from this morning:

WASHINGTON (AFP) – The US Senate approved a controversial bill that would recognize a fetus as a victim separate from its mother during a violent crime, drawing fire from opponents who believe it could erode pro-abortion legislation.

What responsible news agency uses the phrase “pro-abortion legislation”? (For the record, I’d be as upset with them if in a parallel story they used the phrase ‘anti-choice’ or ‘anti-woman’)

I have no idea who the AFP is. But Yahoo News apparently thinks they’re qualified to report the news. If you do a google news search on the phrase, most of the stories you come up with are from GOPNews, LifeSite, LifeNews, Agape Press, the National Review, etc. It only appears in respectable news stories in quotes from a partisan.

Jewish humor

Some of the below should be funny to all, others…well, nu?

Sign over the urinal in a bathroom at Hebrew University:
” The future of the Jewish people is in your hands.”

My Mother is a typical Jewish mother. Once she was on jury duty. They sent her home. She insisted SHE was guilty.

Shul committees should be made up of three members, two of whom should be absent at every meeting. [note: Shul = synagogue]

Any time a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.

I once wanted to become an atheist but I gave up. They have no holidays.

Don’t be humble; you are not that great.

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

The time is at hand when the wearing of a prayer shawl and skullcap will not bar a man from the White House, unless, of course, the man is Jewish.

As Lenny Bruce once said, even if you are Catholic, if you live in New York you’re Jewish. However, what he didn’t say, is if you live in Butte, Montana, even if you are Jewish, you’re not.

It was mealtime during a flight on El-Al.
“Would you like dinner?,” the flight attendant asked Moshe, seated in front.
“What are my choices?,” Moshe asked.
“Yes or no,” she replied.

An elderly Jewish man is knocked down by a car and brought to the local hospital. A pretty nurse tucks him into bed and says, “Mr. Epstein, are you comfortable?”
Epstein replies, “I make a nice living….”

Saul Epstein was taking an oral exam, applying for his citizenship papers. He was asked to spell “cultivate” and he spelled it correctly. He was then asked to use the word in a sentence, and with a big smile, responded: “Last vinter on a very cold day, I vas vaiting for a bus, but it vas too cultivate, so I took the subvay home.”

A Rabbi was opening his mail one morning. Taking a single sheet of paper from an envelope he found written on it only one word: “shmuck.” At the next Friday night service, the Rabbi announced, “I have known many people who have written letters and forgot to sign their names, but this week I received a letter from someone who signed his name…. and forgot to write a letter.

Three Jewish women get together for lunch. As they are being seated in the restaurant, one takes a deep breath and gives a long, slow “oy.” The second takes a deep breath as well and lets out a long, slow “oy.” The third takes a deep breath and says impatiently, “Girls, I thought we agreed that we weren’t going to talk about our children.”

Signs on Synagogue Bulleting Boards:
– Under same management for over 5763 years.
– Beat the Rosh Hashanah rush, come to shul this Shabbat.
– Don’t give up. Moses was once a basket case!
– Come early for a good seat.
– What part of “Thou shalt not” don’t you understand?

Chanukah Songs that Never Quite Caught on:
– Oy to the World
– Schlepping through a Winter Wonderland
– Matzo Man (by the Lower East Side Village People)
– Come on Baby Light my Menorah
– Deck the Halls with Balls of Matzos
– Silent Night? I Should Be So Lucky

A woman goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Chanukah cards. She says to the clerk “May I have 50 Chanukah stamps please.”
“What denomination?,” says the clerk.
The woman says “Oy vay, my g-d, has it come to this? Okay, give me 6 orthodox, 12 conservative and 32 reform!”

A well-meaning gentile from Connecticut, upon getting to Washington on his vacation, is about to enter Senator Lieberman’s office when a Capitol Building guard stops him.
“I’m sorry, Sir,” the guard explained. “Senator Lieberman is doing Mincha and Maariv at this time.”
The gentile walks away shaking his head, saying: “Hmmm, Clinton only had Monica.
[Note: Mincha is the afternoon prayer, and Maariv is the evening prayer]