Monthly Archives: June 2004

Streisand – Political Parodist

I found the lyrics she wrote for People and performed at the fundraiser here (later she printed more accurate lyrics, along with the appropriate credits on her own site and I have updated below.)

(The Capitol Steps have nothing to worry about. An expert at politcal parody songs her songwriters aren’t. Though the intent was good. And the song isn’t completely bad..)

“PEOPLE”

Special Lyrics
By Alan & Marilyn Bergman

PEOPLE
I MEAN G – O – P – EOPLE –
WHO’D BELIEVE THERE’S SUCH PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD?
BUSH SEEZA
LOTTA CONDOLEEZA,
THEY’RE DIVIDING THE PLANET’S OIL
ACCORDING TO RICHARD “POIL”
AND THEY’RE ALL JUST TRAINEES
OF CHENEY’S.

RUMSFELD,
WE MUST GET RID OF RUMSFELD –
HE’S THE SPOOKIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD.
AS FOR POWELL –
HE’S NEITHER FISH NOR FOWL.
HE’S IN THE BACK OF THE ROOM,
WHILE THEY’RE ALL FIDDLING WITH DOOM.
NO ONE’S MINDING THE STORE.
WHAT’S MORE,
LET’S DISCUSS THIS WAR WE’RE LOST IN,
DON’T ASK WHAT IT’S COSTIN’ –
WHAT’S A TRILLION OR TWO TO RULE THE WORLD?

(Second chorus)
THE SENATE
HOW I WANT THE SENATE!
ALL WE NEED IS TWO PEOPLE IN THE WORLD!
I SEEA
ANTONIN SCALIA.
HOW I DREAD EV’RY TIME HE SITS –
SCARED OUT OF MY WOLFOWITZ.
TIME THOSE NEO-CON GUYS
WERE GONE GUYS.

THEY’RE LYING –
WHILE THE GLOBE IS FRYING –
AND THE FISHES ARE DYING IN THE WORLD.
THEIR SOLUTION
FOR ALL OF THE POLLUTION:
IS JUST TO BEAR IT AND GRIN,
AND PRACTICE NOT BREATHING IN.
BUT THINGS ARE GONNA BE GREAT.
JUST WAIT –
WHEN THE WHITE HOUSE STATIONERY,
READS PRESIDENT JOHN KERRY –
WE’LL BE THE LUCKIEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD!

Original music: Jule Styne
Original lyrics: Bob Merrill

Publisher: Warner/Chappell Music, Inc.

Flowers for Kerry

Barbra and Neil hadn’t sung the duet together in 24 years, and Barbra had to come out of retirement to do so. But in a fundraiser for Kerry that’s what they did.

I’d like to find the new words Streisand wrote for People.

Here is an excerpt from her comments at the event (taken from her website):

Following are remarks by Barbra Streisand concerning the upcoming presidential election which she made during her performance at the An Evening With John Kerry And Friends fundraising concert at the Walt Disney Concert Hall in Los Angeles, Thursday evening, June 24, 2004:

WHEN I FIRST SANG THAT SONG IN 1963, ANOTHER BRILLIANT MASSACHUSETTS SENATOR WITH THE INITIALS JFK WAS PRESIDENT. IT WAS A TURBULENT, UNCERTAIN TIME. KENNEDY CORRECTLY VIEWED THE WORLD AS A COMPLICATED PLACE WHICH NEEDED VERY INTELLIGENT PEOPLE WHO COULD TACKLE DIFFICULT PROBLEMS AND FIND REASONABLE SOLUTIONS, WHICH HE DID!

NOW WE’RE AT A FORK IN THE ROAD, AND THIS IS A DEFINING MOMENT IN OUR COUNTRY’S HISTORY. THERE ARE TWO PATHS. THEY ARE NOT DEFINED BY RIGHT OR LEFT, BUT BY RIGHT OR WRONG.

THE WRONG PATH IS A NARROW ONE.. NOT THE WAY OF IDEAS, BUT OF IDEOLOGIES, WITH MINDS THAT ARE CLOSED TO ANYTHING THAT DOESN’T FIT WITHIN THEIR NARROW BELIEF SYSTEM, A PATH PAVED WITH DECEPTION AND SECRECY. THIS IS THE WAY TAKEN BY THE CURRENT ADMINISTRATION.

THE OTHER PATH IS WIDER, MORE OPEN. IT ALLOWS FOR INTELLECTUAL CURIOSITY, DISCOURSE, DISSENT AND DEBATE. ALL ESSENTIAL TO DEMOCRACY. THIS IS THE PATH CHOSEN BY JOHN KERRY…

[rest of comments]

He is from Austria, why should the idea come as a surprise?

Schwarzenegger is OK with allowing illegal immigrants to have drivers licenses…if they put a distinguishing mark on the drivers license, so that everyone who sees it knows they’re an illegal immigrant.

A group of California Rabbis expressed a strong distaste for this idea.

In other (related?) news, Governor Schwarzenegger wants the euthenasia chambers sped up. He doesn’t want the animal shelters to wait 7 days for someone to adopt.

SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger wants to repeal a state law that requires animal shelters to hold stray dogs and cats for up to six days before killing them.

Instead, there would be a three-day requirement for strays. Other animals, including birds, hamsters, potbellied pigs, rabbits, snakes and turtles, could be killed immediately.

It appears there are greater animals, and lesser animals. I’m assuming mice are among those to be killed instantly. (Yeah, this is unfair. I know.)

For those wondering, the odds that a new Make Louvre (Not War) cartoon will be drawn this weekend are quickly increasing. It’s going to be hard to resist.

Drew Barrymore – Raunchy Photos

Drew Barrymore sent pictures of herself in lingerie to her boyfriend, Fabrizzio Moretti. (using her picture phone) She was upset when she found out he showed them to his friends.

Err, Drew? I have pictures of you not wearing lingerie. And I didn’t get them from Fabrizzio. If you were going to be modest, you should have refrained from posing for Playboy.

On a related note…So far in the month of June, 870 people have found gavroche.org searching for Victor Hugo. 1019 searching for Drew Barrymore, Sex, Porn, or some variation.

You won’t find any of those pictures here, sorry. However, you can search for them here. They’re very easy to find.

Oh…I know I shouldn’t do this…

Don’t click if under 18

I have a suspicion if I actually did create a Drew Barrymore fan site it might shoot to the top of Google’s search engines. It might be a theory worth testing.

It doesn’t take a nobel prize to tell you who to vote for…

but it doesn’t hurt:

48 Nobel Prize Winners Support Kerry

Democrat presidential candidate John Kerry has been endorsed by 48 Nobel Prize-winning scientists who have attacked President George Bush for “compromising our future” by underfunding scientific research.

“The Bush Administration has ignored unbiased scientific advice in the policymaking that is so important to our collective welfare,” the 48 scientists, who have won Nobels in chemistry, physics and medicine dating back to 1967, said in an open letter released by the Democratic presidential candidate’s campaign.

The scientists, who included 2003 chemistry winners Peter Agre and Roderick MacKinnon, accused the Bush Administration of undermining America’s future by reducing funding for science and turning away scientific talent with restrictive immigration policies.

It doesn’t take a nobel prize to tell you who to vote for…

but it doesn’t hurt:

48 Nobel Prize Winners Support Kerry

Democrat presidential candidate John Kerry has been endorsed by 48 Nobel Prize-winning scientists who have attacked President George Bush for “compromising our future” by underfunding scientific research.

“The Bush Administration has ignored unbiased scientific advice in the policymaking that is so important to our collective welfare,” the 48 scientists, who have won Nobels in chemistry, physics and medicine dating back to 1967, said in an open letter released by the Democratic presidential candidate’s campaign.

The scientists, who included 2003 chemistry winners Peter Agre and Roderick MacKinnon, accused the Bush Administration of undermining America’s future by reducing funding for science and turning away scientific talent with restrictive immigration policies.

Einstein Rap

A London Rapper has turned a quote from Einstein into a rap song. (And the rapper’s name is DJ Vader…insert obligatory Star Wars joke here)

When a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. But let him sit on a hot stove for a minute – and it’s longer than any hour. That’s relativity.

A computer game, celebrating the 100th anniversary of E=MC2 will feature the song.

Publication Announcement

I have a poem appearing in an upcoming issue (Vol 2, Issue 3 – June/Summer 2004) of Scared Naked Magazine. Purchase copies from their website at your own risk; two of their requirements are that all submissions have to be both horrific and erotic. If you’re under 18, your parents might get upset when this arrives in the mail. (Even if you’re over 18 they might get upset, but what can they do about it? Spank you?)

Let all your sick, twisted, and perverted friends know about this magazine. If you’re not sick, twisted and perverted already, this magazine will scar you for life. This is the second time they’re publishing my work. Considering past issues, my poem is likely to be the least disturbing in the collection. And this one may well be one of my more disturbing poems.

[To quote their website: SCARED NAKED MAGAZINE (sk’rd na’kÓd): A savagely erotic quarterly volume of warped sexuality and feral fantasy created to lend voice to the newest, rawest, most depraved and talented renegades around; authors and poets whose writing instruments are registered with the police as deadly weapons, are worn in holsters fashioned of human skin…]

The issue with the other poem of mine they published is still available at their site, It’s Volume 1, Issue 1: Dec 2002. (If you’re under 18, your parents might get upset if you follow that link while they’re reading over your shoulder…)