I wrote this in June of last year.

And today, I hear about this.

When Rod Stewart, Yoko Ono, and the Isley Brothers are topping the charts, it is a sign we desperately need some new music.

Even with the latest news, I’m certain there’s no way for me to improve upon the poem I wrote last year.

ARACHIBUTYROPHILIC.

Every once in awhile I will put my name into Google™ to see what turns up. Occasionally I wll be surprised to find someone has said something nice about me. Last month, for example, a blogger lilked one of my poems so much, he decided to reprint it on his blog. (At least he credited me, and linked back to my site, for which I am grateful.)

And in discovering this reprint I learned a new word. As my grade school teachers taught me, if I can use it in a sentence, the word is mine. So:

The word, “arachibutyrophilic,”
sticks to the roof of your mouth
like a teaspoonful of peanut butter
scooped straight from the jar.

Skeletal remains of a “hobbit” found in Indonesia. Scientists speculate some of the descendents could be alive today.

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

“Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!”

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought –
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

“And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!’
He chortled in his joy.

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

Source: Lewis Carroll - Jabberwocky

Now (to forebare for ever solittle of Iris Trees and Lili O’Rangans), concerning the genesis of Harold or Humphrey Chimpden’s occupational agnomen (we are back in the presurnames prodromarith period, of course just when enos chalked halltraps) and discarding once for all those theories from older sources which would link him back with such pivotal ancestors as the Glues, the Gravys, the Northeasts, the Ankers and the Earwickers of Sidlesham in the Hundred of Manhood or proclaim him offsprout of vikings who had founded wapentake and seddled hem in Herrick or Eric, the best authenticated version, the Dumlat, read the Reading of Hofed-ben-Edar, has it that it was this way. We are told how in the beginning it came to pass that like cabbaging Cincinnatus the grand old gardener was saving daylight under his redwoodtree one sultry sabbath afternoon, Hag Chivychas Eve, in prefall paradise peace by following his plough for rootles in the rere garden of mobhouse, ye olde marine hotel, when royalty was announced by runner to have been pleased to have halted itself on the highroad along which a leisureloving dogfox had cast followed, also at walking pace, by a lady pack of cocker spaniels.

Source: James Joyce, “Finnegan’s Wake”

Look kids! Wow!
Can you see the numbers?

I just added a plugin to my blog — called MTWordStats

As I am writing this entry, the stats are as follows:

392860 - Characters
104364 - Syllables
8965 - Unique words
66033 - Words
3596 - Occurances of “the”
3970 - Sentences
2439 - Paragraphs
16.6329974811083 - Average words per sentence
1.58048248602971 - Average syllables per word
12.0517118572231 - “Fog” readability index
56.2436892385614 - “Flesch” readability index
9.54656235278285 - “Kincaid” readability index

Of course…as soon as I post this the stats will change.

Both the Fog readability and Kincaid readability indexes measure readability by grade level. As you can see, there is a slight disagreement in results. But those without a high school education are likely to find reading this blog difficult. I am not surprised by this. The flesch readability index measures on a scale of 1-100 with the higher number meaning the easier to read. One source I read says standard documents aim between 60-70. So this is slightly more difficult to read than standard documents. Fine.

I can measure the number of occurances for any word. If anyone would like to know how often I say a particular word, feel free to make suggestions in the comments.

In a year the Boston Red Sox win the World Series…perhaps this could happen too.

For the past 15 elections (since 1936), if the Washington Redskins lost their last home game before the election…the incumbent party lost the election.

If the Redskins won, the incumbent party won.

True according to Snopes.

Of course…the Boston Red Sox just won the World Series…
So I’m not sure if this means I should root for the Packers or not…

And Dogs are Republicans

Can’t say I am 100% in favor of the characterization of Cats, Dogs, or Democrats…but there is some humor to it.

Found at the Librarian’s Rant

I received this plea in my email:

Friends, As I am sure you are already aware, on the ballot on Nov. 2nd will be a section on judicial retention. In one highly politicized situation, involving our own MO Supreme Court Judge Rick Teitelman, there are conservative elements waging a campaign for voters to vote “No” on retention of Judge Teitelman.

The effort began with a Greene County prosecutor who, while admitting he wasn’t certain of the reason, laid “blame” for an unofficial moratorium on the death penalty in MO at Judge Rick’s position on the Court. This diatribe was followed in turn by an NRA-affiliated group urging non-retention of Judge Rick based on his vote against the legitimacy of the conceal & carry legislation. I urge you all not to skip over the judges retention portion of the ballot so that you can cast a “yes” to retention of Judge Richard B. Teitelman.

And, as less politically astute friends, family, and acquaintances ask you about the Nov. 2nd ballot, please explain the meaning of the retention vote to them. I am writing because judges cannot wage a campaign. And, Judge Rick has a deep commitment to civil liberties, civil rights, and justice. But another aspect we must remember, a significant vote for non-retention of Judge Rick could have a chilling effect on other judges who would otherwise be inclined to cast politically unpopular votes in close cases. Thank you for your attention and consideration.

Post Dispatch on Teitelman.

As the Post mentions — the main claim of those working to unseat him is that he voted against conceal-carry. He didn’t. He voted that the state should have to fund conceal-carry.

Since many people skip over that section in the ballot — a negative campaign can work. So its important if you are against politicizing the judiciary that you vote to support Teitelman.

Judges should be retained or booted based on ability — not a liberal/conservative litmus test.

1) The Cardinals come from behind and go from a 0-3 deficit to win the World Series.

This will prove one of two things:
1) The Boston Red Sox really are cursed.
2) Anything really can happen in the postseason.

Which one it proves depends upon whether you really believe in curses or not.

2) The Boston Red Sox win.

This will prove only one thing:
1) The Boston Red Sox aren’t cursed.
– Whether they were and the curse is over, or if they never were, depends on your view of curses.

Is there a new curse at work?

Superstitions, bigotries, hypocrisies, prejudices, these phantoms, phantoms though they be, cling to life; they have teeth and nails in their shadowy substance, and we must grapple with them individually and make war on them without truce; for it is one of humanity’s inevitabilities to be condemned to eternal struggle with phantoms.

Source: Victor Hugo - Les Miserables.

Some are complaining about the Cuyahoga Absentee Ballot which appears below:

The absentee ballot comes in two parts. The part on the left with the names, parties, numbers, and arrow. And the actual punch ballot. Someone lined up the ballot with the information page, and showed that the arrows don’t align.

But you’re not supposed to align them. Since it’s an absentee ballot, you don’t get sent a voting booth in the mail. It has to be done manually. They don’t expect you to line up the ballot. You’re supposed to read what number you are supposed to punch. And then punch it.

I think some believe a typographical error was made…and the Bush/Cheney number was supposed to be 14 (and one other party was supposed to be 12 instead of 2) but the numbers are correct; confused voters just aren’t reading the instructions they’re given.

Going just from those stats alone…

Out of all World Series they’ve been in …
The Red Sox average 6.67 games per series.
The Cardinals average 6.4 games a series.

So I predict there will be seven games.

(If you think that’s normal…the NY/SF Giants average 5.9, the Yankees average 5.4, and the Oakland/Philadelphia A’s average 5.35)

So…judging from history…who will win?

The Red Sox have a .555 won-loss record for series, and a .55 record for total games.

The Cardinals have a .600 won-loss record for series, but a .500 record for total games.

It’s pretty much a toss-up here, so since I’m wearing red today, I’ll say Cardinals.

The below is stolen from Major League Baseball

World Series Stats - by team

Series  Team Total Win Loss  Arizona Diamondbacks 1 1 0  Atlanta Braves 5 1 4  Boston Braves 2 1 1  Brooklyn Dodgers 9 1 8  Chicago Cubs 10 2 8  Cincinnati Reds 9 5 4  Florida Marlins 2 2 0  Los Angeles Dodgers 9 5 4  Milwaukee Braves 2 1 1  New York Giants 14 5 9  New York Mets 4 2 2  Philadelphia Phillies 5 1 4  Pittsburgh Pirates 7 5 2  St. Louis Cardinals 15 9 6  San Diego Padres 2 0 2  San Francisco Giants 3 0 3		Games  Team Total Win Loss Tie  Arizona Diamondbacks 7 4 3 0  Atlanta Braves 29 11 18 0  Boston Braves 10 6 4 0  Brooklyn Dodgers 56 20 36 0  Chicago Cubs 53 19 33 1  Cincinnati Reds 51 26 25 0  Florida Marlins 13 8 5 0  Los Angeles Dodgers 49 25 24 0  Milwaukee Braves 14 7 7 0  New York Giants 82 39 41 2  New York Mets 24 12 12 0  Philadelphia Phillies 26 8 18 0  Pittsburgh Pirates 47 23 24 0  St. Louis Cardinals 96 48 48 0  San Diego Padres 9 1 8 0  San Francisco Giants 18 6 12 0
Home  Team Total Win Loss Tie  Arizona Diamondbacks 4 4 0 0  Atlanta Braves 14 7 7 0  Boston Braves 5 3 2 0  Brooklyn Dodgers 28 14 14 0  Chicago Cubs 27 7 19 1  Cincinnati Reds 26 12 14 0  Florida Marlins 7 4 3 0  Los Angeles Dodgers 23 16 7 0  Milwaukee Braves 7 4 3 0  New York Giants 41 21 20 0  New York Mets 13 8 5 0  Philadelphia Phillies 14 5 9 0  Pittsburgh Pirates 23 12 11 0  St. Louis Cardinals 47 24 23 0  San Diego Padres 4 1 3 0  San Francisco Giants 9 4 5 0		Away  Team Total Win Loss Tie  Arizona Diamondbacks 3 0 3 0  Atlanta Braves 15 4 11 0  Boston Braves 5 3 2 0  Brooklyn Dodgers 28 6 22 0  Chicago Cubs 26 12 14 0  Cincinnati Reds 25 14 11 0  Florida Marlins 3 4 1 0  Los Angeles Dodgers 26 9 17 0  Milwaukee Braves 7 3 4 0  New York Giants 41 18 21 2  New York Mets 11 4 7 0  Philadelphia Phillies 12 3 9 0  Pittsburgh Pirates 24 11 13 0  St. Louis Cardinals 49 24 25 0  San Diego Padres 5 0 5 0  San Francisco Giants 9 2 7 0

Series  Team Total Win Loss  Anaheim Angels 1 1 0  Baltimore Orioles 6 3 3  Boston Red Sox 9 5 4  Chicago White Sox 4 2 2  Cleveland Indians 5 2 3  Detroit Tigers 9 4 5  Kansas City Royals 2 1 1  Milwaukee Brewers 1 0 1  Minnesota Twins 3 2 1  New York Yankees 39 26 13  Oakland Athletics 6 4 2  Philadelphia Athletics 8 5 3  St. Louis Browns 1 0 1  Toronto Blue Jays 2 2 0  Washington Senators 3 1 2		Games  Team Total Win Loss Tie  Anaheim Angels 7 4 3 0  Baltimore Orioles 33 19 14 0  Boston Red Sox 60 33 26 1  Chicago White Sox 26 13 13 0  Cleveland Indians 30 14 16 0  Detroit Tigers 56 26 29 1  Kansas City Royals 13 6 7 0  Milwaukee Brewers 7 3 4 0  Minnesota Twins 21 11 10 0  New York Yankees 212 127 8 1  Oakland Athletics 32 17 15 0  Philadelphia Athletics 43 24 19 0  St. Louis Browns 6 2 4 0  Toronto Blue Jays 12 8 4 0  Washington Senators 19 8 11 0
Home  Team Total Win Loss Tie  Anaheim Angels 4 3 1 0  Baltimore Orioles 17 10 7 0  Boston Red Sox 31 18 12 1  Chicago White Sox 13 6 7 0  Cleveland Indians 15 9 6 0  Detroit Tigers 28 12 16 0  Kansas City Royals 7 4 3 0  Milwaukee Brewers 3 2 1 0  Minnesota Twins 12 11 1 0  New York Yankees 103 62 40 1  Oakland Athletics 17 10 7 0  Philadelphia Athletics 20 12 8 0  St. Louis Browns 3 1 2 0  Toronto Blue Jays 6 4 2 0  Washington Senators 10 6 4 0		Away  Team Total Win Loss Tie  Anaheim Angels 3 1 2 0  Baltimore Orioles 16 9 7 0  Boston Red Sox 29 15 14 0  Chicago White Sox 13 7 6 0  Cleveland Indians 15 5 10 0  Detroit Tigers 28 14 13 1  Kansas City Royals 6 2 4 0  Milwaukee Brewers 4 1 3 0  Minnesota Twins 9 0 9 0  New York Yankees 108 65 44 0  Oakland Athletics 15 7 8 0  Philadelphia Athletics 23 12 11 0  St. Louis Browns 3 1 2 0  Toronto Blue Jays 6 4 2 0  Washington Senators 9 2 7 0

It is commonly thought by many Cardinals fans that the Cardinals are second to the Yankees in World Series appearances and Games, first in the National league. Saying this actually requires counting the San Francisco Giants and New York Giants separate, even though they are the same franchise. By winning the Pennant last night, we are now guaranteed to at least tie the combined Giants teams in games. [Statistically, if the new Washington DC team is named the Senators, they shouldn’t be counted with the old Senators…they’re a new team. But they probably will be by many.]

We are second to the Yankees (trailing far behind), and first in the NL, in World Series wins.

We are second to the Yankees in World Series Won with 9.

The Boston mayor is considering banning liquor sales during the World Series games in Boston, as well as banning live television broadcast of the games in local bars and restaurants.

That’s hard to imagine. A baseball game without liquor? I suspect there would be fans with tickets who refused to go to the stadium because they preferred watching at their home/dorm where they could drink.

There are Fenway tickets going for thousands of dollars on Ebay — selling one’s ticket might look appealing.

[Note: Subject title is the song that gave rise to the phrase, “Banned in Boston”]

Update: the above note is wrong. it goes a little bit further back than that, and possibly even further.

Go Crazy!

That’s a Winner!

Slam-a-lama Ding Dong!

On to Boston!

I just got another last minute ticket! I’m going to the ballgame toinght!

Local Cub Scout banned from attending meetings because he is retarded.

“There are many, many stories of accommodation and success,” says Joe Mueller, spokesman for the Greater St. Louis Area Council, Boy Scouts of America. “In this case the scout presented some extreme challenges, behaviorally and socially, that required [leaders] to consider the safety of the rest of the scouts first.”

But scout mothers who spent months with Irby’s son contend the seven-year-old never posed any behavioral problems. “He was a little slower than my child, but he participated just as well as mine did,” says scout mother Amy Aubuchon. “He wasn’t dangerous, or irate, or anything like that. He sat and did the same activities as my kid. He’s a great kid. I never found anything wrong with him.”

Walmart recently decided to remove “The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion” from their online store.

• Good. I’m glad they removed it.
  
• But what was it doing there?
  
• Why did they need to receive complaints before they realized it was a mistake?
  
• Inquiring minds want to know.
  

Both Barnes & Noble and Amazon.com sell “The Protocols” online but with strong disclaimers.

Foxman told Reuters that while he did not think he should tell Wal-Mart what it should sell, the company should have made it clear that the book was “a hateful anti-Semitic forgery. It was projected as a legitimate historic book. If it was going to be sold, it should be sold responsibly.”

Archon — the annual - First weekend of October — SF convention in Collinsville got a huge writeup in this week’s RiverFront Times

It’s not exactly a flattering portrait. It’s entitled: Geeks Gone Wild. It’s subtitled: If you can’t get laid at a science fiction convention, you can’t get laid!

It’s downhill from there.

I’m not saying its inaccurate. Everything the reporter describes as happening, I am willing to agree happened. (I heard and saw some of it.)

It’s just an incomplete picture.

But it is certainly likely to attract several non-sf fans who are willing to pay $45 for three nights of free beer.

Sure…it was stupid of him to break his fingers. But he broke the fingers on his non-pitching hand. He can still pitch just fine — as he showed last night. If he had been brought in first, instead of Isringhausen, there wouldn’t have been extra innings. Sure…that assumes he’d have pitched identically to different batters. But if he can pitch that well now why get rid of him?

Perhaps he needs to take an anger management course, but on the other hand
perhaps he needs the anger like Darrell Porter needed the booze. [A 20 year old reference to a former Cardinals catcher who’s career went downhill as soon as he found religion and stopped drinking.]

Did Whitey fire John Tudor when he hit the fan? (The thing with blades that rotate and makes the dugout cool; Not a kid wearing red. But it did make great headlines.)

No, he wasn’t traded until 1988 after his career had taken a distinct southward turn. We even took him back, briefly, in 1990.

NEW YORK (CNN) — The founder of the U.S. Christian Coalition said Tuesday he told President George W. Bush before the invasion of Iraq that he should prepare Americans for the likelihood of casualties, but the president told him, “We’re not going to have any casualties.”

*choke* “We’re not going to have any”?

Pat Robertson isn’t a man I put a lot of faith in. (pun intended)
But he is a Bush supporter.

Posted: 14 October 2004 at 1:00pm | IP Logged

I have noticed that people have begun referring to Christopher Reeve as a “hero”. I do not wish to take away one iota of the courage he must have needed not to wake up screaming every single day, but the hard truth is there was nothing “heroic” in what happened to him, or how he dealt with it. In fact, as far as how he dealt with it, he didn’t even have a choice. We could imagine he spent every hour of every day (when not in front of the cameras) begging family members to simply kill him and get it over with — but none of them did, so he had no choice but to deal with each day as it came.*

Heroism, I believe, involves choice.

*Not in any way suggesting this is what was happening, just in case there are those who are paralyzed from the neck up who might be reading these words…

Byrne has been attacked for the quote above on multitudes of blogs. I happen to understand completely what Byrne is saying — from a first-hand perspective. But still, he is wrong.

When I was 17 I found myself paralyzed from the neck down from a disease called Guillain Barre Syndrome. Several classmates, teachers, and friends of my parents praised me on my courage and heroism. But from my perspective, I had no choice. I only did what I had to do.

Of course, I did have a choice. I could have woken up every morning screaming. I could have hurled curses at nurses, doctors, etc. I could have refused to cooperate with physical and occupational therapists. I fought to regain control of my muscles. But I didn’t then, and still don’t view that as heroic. Common sense, maybe. I wanted to get better, so I did everything to achieve that end. And there was absolutely no reason to take out my anger and frustration on others.

Byrne was pointing out that Reeve didn’t have that option to fight, though. But he took the fight elsewhere. He didn’t have to devote his time and money to the Christopher Reeve Paralysis Foundation. And his efforts there were heroic. He probably knew any advancments that were to come would not be in time for him. The work he did was for others.

So no, surviving from day to day is not in itself heroic. But that isn’t all that Reeve did after the accident. He didn’t just survive from day to day.

Singer Martha Reeves has registered a complaint with the FTC about a posting on Ebay of an old contract she signed — it contained her Social Security number.

Ebay’s defense is the same one they give for copyright/trademark violation disputes. There is no way for them to monitor every one of their auctions. They rely on the owners of the copyrights/trademarks to monitor the auctions, and inform them when they see a violation.

It’s simple for anyone to ’subscribe’ to a daily listing of ebay auctions with keywords. So it would be easy for anyone with any worries to subscribe to any auction that mentions their name, for example.

Of course, one might ask — should this be necessary?

To force Ebay to moderate all their auctions would force them to hire an extraordinary amount of new employees — and force a rise in costs to the auctioneer that would probably cause a sharp decline in business.

But do Ebay’s profits outweigh privacy and intellectual property rights?

At some point, in my opinion, Ebay does have to be held accountable for what is sold on their site.

I just received the below press release in my email:

Bínai Bírith International (BBI) is pleased to announce the launching of Bínai Bírith Radio, the first 24-hour, all-Jewish-music radio station outside Israel. Bínai Bírith Radio is available on the Internet at www.bnaibrithradio.org.

Bínai Bírith Radio broadcasts an eclectic Judaic play list including traditional Yiddish, secular Israeli, Jewish American, Instrumental, and Chasidic music.

Its goal is to unite Jews around the world through music.

ìUnfortunately, Jews are accustomed to coming together during tragedy, and to focus on the negative events in the world,î states Joel S. Kaplan, president of BBI. ìHere is an opportunity to celebrate the wonderful richness of Jewish music. It is a common thread that Jews around the world can share.î

Daniel S. Mariaschin, Executive Vice President of BBI, narrates the program in English. Plans are in place to launch Spanish and French versions of the network later in the year.

The station is free of charges and commercials. The station is fully subsidized by BBI and its members and supporters.

I was going to see F-9/11 at Frederick’s last night.
I said it would take an act of G-d to keep me away
My nephew Zachary decided his birthday would be October 18th.
I must say the only thing that would have made my sister-in-law happier is if he had chosen an earlier date.
It’s not as if I’m undecided.
I’m voting for Zachary.
Zachary is cute. All babies are.
Zachary’s big brother and big sister are also cute. Still.
So maybe I am undecided.
But no one would be so cruel as to make an uncle choose.

My brother and sister-in-law say it was 6:37 pm
I’m rounding it down to 18:36:54
But that might be putting too much pressure on Zach
He is still less than a day old.

There are a few things I am certain of.
I am glad I have cable.
I was able to switch back and forth between Cardinals/Astros and Red Sox/Yankees last night.
(After I got home from the hospital.)
Those on Dish and DirectTV couldn’t.
Go Red Sox!
Go Cardinals!
Boo Hiss Dish and DirectTV!!!

But if there is a Red Sox Astros World Series —
I guarantee somebody will mention
Bush is from Texas and Kerry from Massachussets
And suggest the World Series be used as a ‘poll’
Kind of like flavors of ice cream or brands of ketchup.
If there is a Yankees Astros World Series I won’t watch.
I can’t watch a game where I want both teams to lose.
Who’s more arrogant — Texans or the Yankees?
Right now I want a Cardinals Red Sox World Series
But if that happens…I know I will root for the Cardinals
But I won’t be upset if the Red Sox win.

[Note: If you saw the earlier version of the above…I just realized that there was a homophonic issue and the person I was hearing on the radio didn’t spell their name the same way as the person I knew. ]

Comedian Steve Martin is co-executive producer for a new proposed reality show called, “The Scholar” where 15 high school seniors will compete for a unique prize - 4 years paid tuition to the university of their choice.

Received this in email. All quotes below are attributed to Cardinals broadcaster Mike Shannon

“A hit up the middle right now would be like a nice ham sandwich and a cold, frosty one.”

“This big standing room only crowd is settling into their seats.”

“It’s raining like a Chinese fire drill!”

After Brian Jordan was hit by a pitch for the 4th time on a single road trip) “He must feel like a Ouija board.”

(About former Cardinal Bernard Gilkey) “He was originally born in University City.”

“He’s faster than a chicken being chased by Ronald McDonald!”

(Referring to Mike Schmidt) “the longtime and soon-to-be Hall of Famer.”

“He’s madder than a pig caught under a barnyard gate.”

(About a base stealer) “Sometimes when you feel the urge, you’ve just gotta go.” (6/17/98)

“This game is off to a rather conspicuous start, don’t you think, Jack?” (7/15/98 )

“Well, folks, this game began as a tiny worm and is blossoming into a large cobra.” (8/12/98 )

(About Hideo Nomo) “He’s the biggest thing to hit Japan since they dropped that bomb on Nagashima!”

“That foul tip bounced up and caught him right in the groins…and that’ll really clear your eyes out!”

Broadcasting from New York under a full moon) “I wish you folks back in St. Louis could see this moon.”

(On the day before Easter) “I just want to tell everyone Happy Easter and Happy Hanukkah.” (4/98)

After a warning track fly ball) “A couple of strips of bacon at breakfast,and he’d a busted that baby out-a-here!”

“Things are not always as they appear to be as.” (1999)

“I tell you, that same river flows the same way”.

“Well, he did everything right to get ready for the throw, but if ya ain’t got the hose, the water just won’t come out.”

“Like Spring makes the rains come, so does the edge of the plate grow.” (6/17/00)

“Our next home stand follows this road trip.” (5/20/01)

“I don’t like that play. I’ve seen it go opposite more often than positive.” (6/08/01)

(Referring to a home run by Ted Simmons) “And that’s the bread on Simmons’ butter.”

“The right-hander is throwing up in the bullpen.” (4/23/02)

“I’ve heard it said that if you know English, Spanish, Italian, and I think it’s French, you can go just about anywhere in this world…except for China where they have all those derelicts.” (5/19/02)

This year’s quote regarding the derelicts in China was followed (after a pause) by Joe Buck’s suggestion that Mike had meant to say “dialects.” Mike’s response was,”Yea, dialects! That’s what I mean. But they’ve got a lot of derelicts too!!”

During an Eli Marrero at bat, Mike Shannon makes mention that the Cardinals had a lot of Latin players on the team and that “they are a creditable people.”

“If you’re writing a thesis or something, you could finish it in a week or so if you were catching this guy.” (05-25-02)

“We’d like to say hello to all those folks listening in Monkey’s Eyebrow, Kentucky.”

“He ran to second faster than a cat in Chinatown.”

“I wouldn’t have seen it if I hadn’t believed it.’”

Joe: “Mike, the Cardinals would like to welcome a group of 19 French foreign exchange students in section 382 today.”
Mike: “Where they from Joe?”
Joe: “Uhhh… France… I think.”

And Mike Shannon’s classic: “Ol’ Abner has done it again!”

A couple years back, Mike and Joe were discussing the horrible photographs of players that had been flashed on the screen at another ballpark. Mike’s take on the quality of photo selection was, “Some of those guys looked like the picture was taken while they were seeing their first UFO.” After several seconds of laughter, Joe added, “As opposed to their second or third.”

“Oooh, that last pitch inside was a bit questionable and he’d like to say something to the umpire, but he won’t say anything. At least not verbally.”.

“Boy a frosty cold Budweiser would be great about now”…long pause…then an “aahhh”.

“The wind has switched 360 degrees”.

“The Dodgers are ahead by 5 runs or 3 runs or in between there somewhere.”

“It was raining so hard I thought it was going to stop.”

“…this crowd on their feet for the Canadian Star Spangled Banner.”

“Horner’s arguing, he wants an interference call against Cangeloni. Now Cangeloni’s got something to say, but here comes Whitey to give a taste of his vocabulary, and it’ll have extra mustard on it.”

There are some people, such as Tom Tomorrow (who I normally agree with, saying the only reason it would have been inappropriate for Kerry to mention Cheney’s daughter would be if homosexuality were shameful.

I disagree. It would have been inappropriate for Kerry to say “Dick Cheney’s daughter supports gun control”. Not only just as inappropriate, but just as irrelevant. And supporting gun control isn’t shameful. The only relevance Dick Cheney’s daughter has is how she effects the mind of her father, and what effect he might have on Bush administration policy (which apparently is none).

But I do agree that there are probably many Republicans (and probably several Democrats) who feel it was inappropriate because it “embarrasses” the Cheneys. Which is not the reason it was inappropriate. And their reaction does indicate their feelings that homosexuality is still something to be ashamed of.

Hot on the heels of a new study showing nearly a million American Jews living in poverty comes a report of baby crocodiles found swimming in Israeli bathtubs. Apparently there are some Israelis who are so stupid they think crocodiles would make awesome pets.

Oy. Of course, as Harlan Ellison once said, “The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.”

I happen to agree that Kerry shouldn’t have brought up Cheney’s daughter in the way he did. Here are my thoughts:

• Cheney was the first one to bring up his daughter in the campaign when he said that he disagreed with Bush on the proposed Constitutional Ammendment, and felt the issue should be left to the states.
  
• It would have been entirely appropriate for Kerry to refer back to that statement. Something like, “Even the President’s Vice President disagrees with him on the issue of a Constitutional Amendment.” Then he could quote Cheney’s statement directly, which mentioned his daughter.
  
• If Kerry had chosen Gephardt as his VP, it would have been entirely appropriate for Gephardt to bring up his daughter and Cheney’s daughter in a discussion. Or for Kerry to say something like, “Both Vice Presidential candidates in this election are against a constitutional amendment. Both have gay daughters who they love, and feel deserve equal treatment under the law.”
  
• But the way Kerry invoked the issue in the debate was inappropriate. It focused on what Cheney’s daughter felt. Not what Cheney felt because of his daughter. And since Cheney has made his own feelings public, there would be nothing wrong with repeating them.
  
• Bush doesn’t accept Homosexuality as a choice (in the debate he said he ‘didn’t know’). Kerry accepts it as a choice.
  
• My vote isn’t changing
  

National Boss Day is October 16

As observant people will notice, this is a Saturday.

No, this isn’t a cruel joke against bosses. If you read the page above, you will discover:

National Boss Day is October 16 each year. When the holiday falls on a weekend, it is generally celebrated on the working day closest to October 16.

So, why was October 16th chosen?

National Boss Day was started in 1958 when Patricia Bays Haroski, then an employee at State Farm Insurance Company in Deerfield, Ill., registered the holiday with the Chamber of Commerce of the United States. She designated October 16 as the special day because it was her father’s birthday.

2 points

• The date was chosen because it was someone’s father’s birthday. (Not her boss’s birthday, her father’s.)
  
• She registered it with the US Chamber of Commerce
  

OK. This might explain the overabundance of holidays with silly names. Can we still do it this easily? If so, how is this done? Does it cost money? Inquiring, and mischievously creative minds want to know. I’ve briefly looked at the US Chamber of Commerce website, but so far have been unable to find instructions.

To the person who finds me the instructions, as long as it doesn’t cost too much, the first holiday I register will be on your birthday. (You will not be allowed to veto the name or purpose of the holiday)

Update
OMG! It’s even easier than that.
Contest off. I found an easier way

McGraw Hill publishes an annual list of holidays and events called “Chase’s Calendar of Events” You can submit an entry.

If you would like to submit an entry, please fill out the following form. The deadline to submit an entry for publication in the 2006 edition is APRIL 15, 2005.

To submit a new entry for the 2006 edition of Chase’s, use the form below or fax or mail your entry to us.

Fax to: 1-312-233-7569

Mail to:
Chase’s Calendar of Events
Contemporary Books
130 E. Randolph St., Suite 900
Chicago, IL 60601

We cannot accept BIRTHDAY submissions.

Please provide information on how the public may contact you regarding the details of your event. Any information submitted may be published in the print version of CHASE’S CALENDAR OF EVENTS, or in other books, electronic formats, syndicated or licensed products or services, and/or other related products and services. The editors reserve the right to select and edit information received.

Process for Declaring Special Observances
How do special days, weeks and months get created? The President has the authority to declare any commemorative event by proclamation, but this is done infrequently. In 2000, for example, the President issued 127 proclamations. A good number of those were proclamations, such as Mother’s Day and Bill of Rights Week, for which there was legislation giving continuing authority for a proclamation to be issued each year. The White House Clerk’s Office initiates the issuing of these proclamations each year, since they are mandated by authorizing legislation.

Until January 1995, Congress had been active in seeing that special observances were commemorated. Members of the Senate and House could introduce legislation for a special observance to commemorate people, events and other activities they thought worthy of national recognition. Because these bills took up a disproportionate amount of time on the part of senators and representatives and their staffs, when Congress met in January 1995 to review and reform its rules and procedures, it was decided to discontinue this process. However, the Senate still does issue commemorative resolutions which do not have the force of law. Some state legislatures and governors still proclaim special days, as do mayors of cities.

How do organizations promote awareness about an event or concern that they feel deserves recognition by the public? They can send their information to us for free listing in THE standard reference book for event and observance information - Chase’s Calendar of Events.

Not sure how standard it is, and they probably won’t accept just any event. (They might consider some ideas inappropriate). But it’s free.

Because a judge decided the signatures of “Mickey Mouse”, “Fred Flinstone”, and thousands others were probably fraudulent, Nader was removed from the ballot in PA (I know some cruel parents. There might really be some Fred Flintstones out there. OK, maybe not.)

O’Reilly has been sued for Sexual Harassment. (He had sued the suer for extortion.)

Source

The 9/11 commission is one of the finalists for the National Book Award (non-fiction category)

Long time readers of this site know of my fascination with numerology.
Of course, numerology is what you make of it.

However.

I was born on the 176th anniversary of the exact day King Louis XVI was beheaded.

I entered the hospital at age 16 on the 134th anniversary of the day Victor Hugo was officially expelled from France. (I was diagnosed with Guillain Barre Syndrome…a disease named after 2 French scientists)

176-134 = 42 (The answer to life, the universe, everything)

And to top everything off, I was fired from a job I had had for ten years on the 200th anniversary, exactly, of Victor Hugo’s birth.

You will note that none of the three dates mentioned above were of my choosing. I had no control over when I was born, got sick, or was fired.

I’ve been obsessed with Victor Hugo in particular, and a Francophile in general, since 1988 — When I saw Les Miserables on Broadway. In May. 103 years after Victor Hugo died. (It may not have been timed to the exact date.)

link

In defense of their airing the special on the Vietnam Prisoners of War, Mark Hyman of the Sinclair Broadcast Group said:

This is news. I can’t change the fact that these people decided to come forward today. The networks had this opportunity over a month ago to speak with these people. They chose to suppress them. They chose to ignore them. They are acting like Holocaust deniers, pretending these men don’t exist.

Received the below in my email, thought I would forward it on.

Ok, baseball fan or not, this is embarassing. somewhere in Texas, the radio stations are telling texans to come to the Cardinals’ website and vote for the Houston Asstros winning the series in the poll they have up. Right now, it’s very close. earlier today, the Asstros were winning the poll. ON OUR WEBSITE! This is wrong. please go to the website and show your cardinal support. Vote for the Cardinals to win on the poll in the lower left corner.

link to Cardinals site

if you really want to take action, go to the houston asstros site and vote
for the cardinals!

link to Asstros site

There are four choices on the Cardinals site:
Cards win in 4 or 5
Cards win in 6 or 7
Asstros win in 4 or 5
Asstros win in 6 or 7

Currently, as of my voting, votes for the Cardinals winning in some fashion are 56% to 44%

On the Houston Asstros site there are six choices

Asstros in 5 or less
Cards in 5 or less
Asstros in 6
Cards in 6
Asstros in 7
Cards in 7

Houston is winning 76% to 24%

Note: There is nothing preventing you from voting as often as you like!
(You may have to switch back and forth between or among the different Cards Win options for it to register as a new vote.)