I decided to post a couple more poems before the month closes.

I’ve been sorting through my electronic files of poems and discovered some I’d forgotten.
These are written by me. Both are constrained poems. The first one is a haiku. The second is a Jenny.

Dinner Conversation

Said the cannibal
to his friend: this pirate’s chest
is filled with treasure.

Categorizing the Dead

Zombies are the least functional;
Vampires more functional;
Corpses the most functional –
Disintegrating
Becoming

Fertilizer for vegetation.

In 1935 Hugo Gernsback wrote about gadgets.

As I have said before, the market for gadgets in this country is really
tremendous. There is constantly room for these novelties, and the public is
always willing to buy them. There is, in fact, a sort of craze, that many
people have, to be the first to have this or that new gadget to parade it
proudly among their friends…

Any lover of gadgetry should enjoy reading this article by the Hugo for which Science Fiction’s Hugo Awards are named.

If I were still working in IT, this would be on my to-be-purchased list. Of course, when I left the IT field, we were still using rubberbands.

Today is April 30th…so today is the last poem of my National Poetry Month poem-a-thon.

Conducting a search on the keywords ‘Up From the Ashes” and “Wabash Triangle Cafe” I found another Wabash Slam Poet I had lost track of over the years, but she’s also been invited to the performance on June 16th I mentioned a couple days ago. She was actually the winning slam poetess on the final week of the Wabash Triangle Cafe’s existence. March 16th, 1994. This wasn’t unusual, as she was one of the frequent winners. I’m thrilled to discover she will be at the showcase.

She posted on her blog/journal awhile back one of her popular poems from The Wabash era: Riding the Blue Bus (only for those over the age of 18)

The Unshelved Book Club presents today The Seven Stages of Falling in Love with an Author

The Re-echo Club (1913) is a book by poet, Carolyn Wells ‘revealing’ the ‘long hidden papers’ of a group of poets who gathered and rewrote poems in their own style. (And by coincidence…I don’t own this book, and discovered it after yesterday’s post…the first poem these poets rewrite is Burgess’s classic)

See if you can detect the poet who wrote the following:

Open then I flung a shutter,
And, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a Purple Cow which gayly tripped around my floor.
Not the least obeisance made she,
Not a moment stopped or stayed she,
But with mien of chorus lady perched herself above my door.

And that Purple Cow unflitting
Still is sitting — still is sitting
On that dusty bust of Dante just above my chamber door,
And her horns have all the seeming
Of a demon’s that is screaming,
And the arc-light o’er her streaming
Casts her shadow on the floor.
And my soul from out that pool of Purple Shadow on the floor
Shall be lifted Nevermore!

Epigraph to The Burgess Nonsense Book – by Gelett Burgess

To him who vainly conjures sleep
In counting visionary sheep;
To her who, in the dentist’s power
Would fain recall a gayer hour;
To him who visits tiresome aunts,
And comes upon this book by chance;
To her who in the hammock lies,
And, bored with Ibsen, BURGESS tries;
To those who can’t remember dates
While nonsense rhymes stick in their pates;
To those who buy, and do not borrow,
Nor put it off until to-morrow;
To all who in these pages look,
I dedicate this Nonsense Book!

Many people are familiar with half of Gelett Burgess’ most famous poem, The Purple Cow, but few remember it in it’s entirety:

The Purple Cow’s Projected Feast:
Reflections on a Mythic Beast,
Who’s Quite Remarkable, At Least.

I never saw a purple cow,
I never hope to see one;
But I can tell you, anyhow,
I’d rather see than be one!

Here’s a fun collection of his poems, courtesy of Google Books:

Goops and how to be them A Manual of Manners for Polite Infants Inculcating Many Juvenile Virtues Both By Precept and Example With Ninety Drawings.

Excerpt:

Some people are of the decided opinion that this generation of Americans have become decidedly uncouth. We should show our leaders respect, these individuals believe, and they are certain there was a purer time when society did not ridicule politicians like we do today.

How about the 1700s?

Tom Mullinex and Dick – by Jonathan Swift (1667-1745)

(Dick is Richard Tighe, a member of Irish parliament, and a Whig. Swift leaned towards Tory. Tom Mullinex was a half-crazed begger. That’s all you need to know.)

Tom and Dick had equal fame,
And both had equal knowledge;
Tom could write and spell his name,
But Dick had seen a college.

Dick a coxcomb, Tom was mad,
And both alike diverting,
Tom was held the merrier lad,
But Dick the best at farting.

Dick would cock his nose in scorn,
But Tom was kind and loving;
Tom a footboy bread and born,
But Dick was from an oven.

Dick could neatly dance a jig,
But Tom was best at borees;
Tom would pray for every Whig,
And Dick curse all the Tories.

Dick would make a woeful noise,
And scold at an election;
Tom huzza’d the blackguard boys,
And held them in subjection.

Tom could move with lordly grace,
Dick nimbly skip the gutter;
Tom could talk with solemn face,
But Dick could better sputter.

Dick was come to high renown
Since he commenced physician;
Tom was held by all the town
The deeper politician.

Tom had the genteeler swing,
His hat could nicely put on;
Dick knew better how to swing
His cane upon a button.

Dick for repartee was fit,
And Tom for deep discerning;
Dick was thought the brighter wit,
But Tom had better learning.

Dick with zealous no’s and aye’s,
Could roar as loud as Stentor;
In the House ’tis all he says;
But Tom is eloquenter.

Next time someone talks to you about showing respect to politicians, laugh in their face.

84% Geek
84%

Mingle2.com – Free Online Dating

THOUSANDS of rich women were conned by a firm into believing LAMBS were valuable miniature POODLES.

Entire flocks were imported to Japan from the UK and Australia then sold by the internet company as the latest “must have” pet.

The bizarre scam was rumbled when Japanese movie star Maiko Kawakami complained on a talk show that her new poodle refused to bark or eat dog food.

Story. (I do have some doubts about the accuracy of this news report. The ‘news sources’ the story’s appeared in so far aren’t the most reliable.)

Snopes verifies my doubts.