Archive for 11/4/2008 - 6 Heshvan, 5769

60 pounds of marijuana found along Florida highway by poilce.
There is probably some state code that requires police to inform the public if something is found that is over $x in value, because they’ve provided the phone number to call if the owner wishes to claim their property. Of course, they don’t say what will happen next.

source (with fun photo)

I have this friend. They are obsessed with the British author, Charles Dickens, and have used a Dickens character as their web identity for quite awhile – handles, domain names, email usernames, etc.

Well, I just heard from this friend that they recently received an email addressed to a person with a foreign sounding name, with an attached excel spreadsheet, supposedly containing information the recipient needed for a conference at which they were speaking.

They were about to delete it as potential viral spam. Not about to open the spreadsheet. When they realized there weren’t any spelling errors in the email. So they did a google search on the intended recipient’s name and realized this was a real person, who was obviously also a fan of Dickens, as their email address was online in multiple places, and they used the exact same username as this friend of mine. Different email provider, but my friend uses a common email provider that a secretary could easily accidentally tack on to a username.

So now this friend of mine had an ethical issue to pursue. The first task was easy. They sent an email to the secretary and told this secretary they had emailed the wrong person, and even provided the secretary with the correct email address, and the website they had found the email address on. The secretary couldn’t possibly have asked for anything more. My friend could have forwarded the email to the intended recipient, but decided that would just embarrass the organization that had misdirected the email, and it was an easy mistake to make.

But the ethical issue: to open the spreadsheet or delete unread. The intended recipient seemed to be a cool guy from all the information gleaned from various websites. Politically active on the ‘correct’ side of issues from my friend’s perspective. This friend of mine has only one complaint. They wish the contents were more interesting than they turned out to be. They want to be privy to information they aren’t supposed to be privy to. I told my friend they shouldn’t have opened the excel spreadsheet. That it was wrong. They asked me what I would have done. I guess I don’t know the answer to that question.

1) Health

Good health is relative. In January of 1986, at age 17, I lay in a hospital bed paralyzed from the neck down. As I slowly recovered from Guillain-Barre Syndrome, through observation of other patients at St. Louis Children’s Hospital, I realized I was lucky. I spent four months of my life in the hospital, then a few more months in a wheelchair, a few more with a walker/cane, but by September I was walking on my own.

Today, I am not in as good of shape as I’d like to be. I’d like to lose about twenty pounds. But beyond being overweight, I am generally healthy, for which I am thankful.

2) Close Family

Talking with others, I know my family is unusual. We are all speaking with one another, we get along well, and there’s no one I can think of in my extended family – parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins – who I have to put up a false front to get along with whenever I see them. On the contrary, if asked about each of my relatives, I think I would put a check mark by each one and say that I would rather see them more often, than less often.

3) Friends

I have developed a lot of good friendships over the past fifteen years in the science fiction fan community, as well as through my writer’s group, and at poetry open mics. At my high school’s twentieth reunion in September I was reminded that I had for the most part lost all contact with my high school friends. There are some signs that some of those friendships could be reestablished.

You can run, but you can’t hide!

It seems Neil Diamond and myself have something in common. He has just admitted, that at age 29, he wrote the song Sweet Caroline about none other than Caroline Kennedy, after he saw a photograph of her. She was only 12 years old. There are some rather disturbing lyrical images in the song when you consider he was 29 and she was 12. (”Hands touchin’ hands reachin’ out touchin’ me touchin’ you..”)

And Drew Barrymore was only 9 in 1984 when Firestarter was released. Of course, I was only 15. So it’s not really as bad. And of course, I didn’t write a hit song.

Cleaning personnel unlock bedroom door in hostel to find resident wearing a tshirt, and ‘riding’ a bicycle, in an unseemly fashion.

This was reported to the police, and found to be illegal.

My guess is the bicycle didn’t consent.

It’s only 4 days away, so to prepare:

We start off with An Addam’s Family Thanksgiving

We proceed to the classic WKRP segment no Thanksgiving tribute would be complete without:

The Drop:

The Resolution:

Since William S Burroughs is a famous local-boy with his own star on the St. Louis Walk of Fame, here’s a video of WSB himself reading his poem; “Thanksgiving Day, Nov 28, 1986″ (Contains some language some might find obscene)

For something a little offbeat, and a little more family friendly:

“Aren’t You Glad You’re Not a Turkey?” (a performance by a music director of some synagogue somewhere. Wish it were my own. Or I’m glad it’s not my own. Haven’t decided yet.)

And for those who like instructional how-tos:

How to Butter Bake your Turkey (tv commercial circa 1959)

There was an award-winning SF Novella a few years back entitled, Bears Discover Fire. A scary tale that was. However, it was fiction.

It appears Bears may have discovered Cars!

Police in New Jersey say a black bear is suspected of stealing a people carrier and taking it for a spin.

Officer Dave Dehardt found the vehicle by the side of the road near Vernon Township, reports Court TV.

The passenger window had been broken and the door panels were damaged.

Police spokesman Det Sean Talt said: “He determined it was a bear because of all the bear hair inside.

Only one question: was it determined to be bear hair through genetic testing…or does the Detective know Bear Hair when he sees it?

Could it have been a large dog named Cujo?

In case you haven’t seen it yet, The Daily Show writers present the “Not The Daily Show” explanation of the writer’s strike.

Less humorous presentations from United Hollywood

In short…don’t piss on writers, because writers know how to write!

National Novel Writing Month pariticipants in several localities are competing against each other for most words written gross, and most words written per person. These are called Word Wars.

Here are the current stats for St. Louis and our chosen competitors:

Don’ t tell anyone, but at least one St. Louis participant hasn’t updated their word count online since the first night, and that’s not because they haven’t written anything since. So the St. Louis per-person average is a little lower than actuality. Of course, this could be true in the other localities as well.

On Mondays, I want my car to be red
On Tuesdays, I want my car to be orange
On Wednesdays, I want my car to be yellow
On Thursdays, I want my car to be green
On Fridays, I want my car to be blue
On Saturdays, I want my car to be indigo
On Sundays, I want my car to be violet

By 2010, all I will need is one car. As they’ll have on the market a paint job that can change the color of your car at the touch of a button.

And of course…the paint job I suspect could be applied to other things as well…though it will have to be something that an electric current passes through.

Before the bodywork is covered in paint, it receives a coating of special ‘paramagnetic’ iron oxide particles. The small crystals within the iron oxide particles change its alignment when a current passes through it. Consequently, this results in a change in the way light reflects off its surface.

For the next two weeks, you can buiy a laptop, and get a laptop. That is - buy a $200 laptop for a child in a developing nation, and get one of these laptops for your very own. Plus a year’s worth of T-Mobile HotSpot Wifi Access. Since a year of HotSpot access generally costs approximately $360, and you’re getting a $200 tax deduction, one could look at it as coming out ahead.

Between November 12 and November 26, OLPC is offering a Give One Get One program in North America. This is the first time the revolutionary XO laptop has been made available to the general public. For a donation of $399, one XO laptop will be sent to empower a child in a developing nation and one will be sent to the child in your life in recognition of your contribution. $200 of your donation is tax-deductible (your $399 donation minus the fair market value of the XO laptop you will be receiving).

For all U.S. donors who participate in the Give One Get One program, T-Mobile is offering one year of complimentary HotSpot access.

On Sunday two women were ordained into an organization calling itself: Roman Catholic Womenpriests. They were ordained at a local Reform Synagogue - Central Reform Congregation. I’m not a member of CRC, but I was actually there on Saturday, as my sister-in-law, who converted to Judaism a few years ago, was having her Bat Mitzvah ceremony. I figured I might as well type out my thoughts.

If a Jewish synagoge were host to the ordination of two Baptist clergy, I wouldn’t expect the Roman Catholic Church to express any displeasure. Or Lutheran clergy. Or Muslim clergy.

To quote from a recent Post Dispatch article from before the event:

The two women will be ordained as priests of an organization called Roman Catholic Womenpriests, which, in its constitution, defines itself as “an international initiative within the Roman Catholic Church.”

The group was founded in 2002, when seven women were ordained aboard a boat on the Danube River in Germany. All of them were later excommunicated. The organization says other women have since been ordained by male Roman Catholic bishops, including Patricia Fresen, a former Dominican nun and Roman Catholic Womenpriests bishop, who will ordain Hudson and McGrath.

The group insists that it is Roman Catholic, but the church says it is not. Church leaders say that Womenpriests is like any other Christian denomination that breaks away from the church because it dislikes its doctrine.

Female ordinations by fringe Catholic groups are not unusual, and bishops often ignore such events because they occur outside the church.

The Church declares the Womenpriests to be a separate church. In so doing, they give up any right to complain about where they are ordained. That the Womenpriests claim otherwise is irrelevant.

This has a parallel in that Jews for Jesus, and other Messianic Jewish churches claim to still be Jewish. Most of the rest of the Jewish community disagrees with the claim. But most religions disagree with each other on the claims they make. That doesn’t mean we disagree with their right to exist, and worship as they choose. That’s why there are different religions. And if a group of Rabbis from a Messianic Church wished to be ordained in a Catholic Church, and the Catholic Church said OK, I’d say, ‘fine.’ Neither the Catholic Church, nor the Messianic Church are part of my religious community, so it’s none of my business.

Similarly there have been scattered stories of Orthodox Jewish women becoming ordained as Rabbis. The Orthodox community doesn’t accept them, and they usually end up with Conservative Congregations. Not being Orthodox, my opinions aren’t very relevant, but I feel that’s as it should be. I don’t expect Orthodoxy to change. But I support the right for women to be Rabbis.

I wasn’t at the event yesterday, but it sounds like it was well attended. I think that CRC’s willingness to be host to the ordination of the clergy of a new religious group shows a strong interest in interfaith ties. Because being a supporter of interfaith relationships doesn’t mean you only strengthen ties with religion A once you get permission from religions B, C and D.

I have also heard some fellow Jews complain a little about the idea of the ordination of another religion occurring within a synagogue. It seems appropriate from a historical perspective for Central Reform, since they spent their first fifteen years renting space from the First Unitarian Church in the Central West End. I suspect several weddings and bar/bat mitzvahs occurred inside the church. Their current synagogue is across the street from the church where they began.

Careful readers of the Post Dispatch article linked to at the top of this post will notice that the new priests plan to celebrate mass at - where? - The First Unitarian Church. The exact same place CRC held its services for 15 years. It’s extremely appropriate for CRC to have been the location where they were ordained.

Scalzi on the Ficlets blog points out that writers on strike write the best strike journals.

The journal in the NYTimes article he links to is quite funny. It is written by one of the writers for The Daily Show.

However, my favorite strike journal was written a couple years ago by a local writer. It’s entitled, The Non-Texas Chainstore Massacre. It was written when the grocery store chains went on strike. Most writers don’t make a living from writing…Most writers have other jobs. The piece linked to above appeared in a zine called Bewildering Stories. Don’t be fooled. It was published as fiction, but I know the guy, and it could be true.

I was looking at my statistics for the month of October, and the number one search term that drove people to my site?

Anakin Skywalker

I looked at that, and started racking my brains trying to recall when I last blogged about Star Wars. I am a geek. I have seen all of the films multiple times, but I know I haven’t blogged much about them. I did a google search, and my website didn’t turn up in the first 100 results.

On a hunch, I tried a Google Images search. Fifth picture. From a meme-quiz I took which identified me as most like Anakin out of all the Revenge of the Sith characters. I took the quiz back in 2005. Two years ago!

So there are only 4 other pictures on the entire interweebs of Anakin that are ranked higher than mine. (And the image isn’t even on my site - it’s hotlinked from the quiz site. But the search results link to my site.)

So…Welcome Star Wars Fans!

Been doing this for the past couple years, I might as well keep it up. See if it ever changes. These are the number of news articles turned up in a “Google News” search for the corresponding terms:

“Berlin Wall” - 848
Kristallnacht - 220
Holocaust 1938 - 99
“Night of Broken Glass” - 51
“Kaiser Wilhelm” - 42
“Beer Hall Putsch” - 40
“World Freedom Day” - 1
“International Day Against Fascism” - 1

more about November 9th

Today is the birthday/deathday of Albus Dumbledore’s pet Phoenix, Fawkes.

A penny loaf to feed the Pope
A farthing o’ cheese to choke him.
A pint of beer to rinse it down.
A faggot of sticks to burn him.
Burn him in a tub of tar.
Burn him like a blazing star.
Burn his body from his head.
Then we’ll say ol’ Pope is dead.
Hip hip hoorah!
Hip hip hoorah hoorah!

(No. I don’t know this for a fact. I don’t know if a particular day was ever indicated for any of the times Fawkes burst into flames, or was reborn. It is clear, however, where Rowling got the name. No sane person would suggest it was purely coincidental.)

Here’s a news article about actress Angelina Jolie.

Angelina Jolie has admitted she was got a little shy when she saw her nude scenes in her latest film “Beowulf.”

The actress says although the nude scenes were stimulated, she was still a little embarrassed. “I was a little shy,” she says. “I was really surprised that I felt that exposed…

So, do you see a (likely) mistake? Do you see more than one? I count at least one in each paragraph.

[as seen at Neil Gaiman’s journal]

Transylvanian Dutch, from the POV of a LOL-cat

In case you hadn’t heard, JK Rowling has already finished writing the “8th” Harry Potter book. Some might argue it’s actually the tenth, since it seems along the same lines as “Quidditch Through the Ages” and “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.”. This one is entitled “The Tales of Beedle the Bard.” Readers of the 7th book will recall that that is the title of a book given to Hermione.

Obtaining this book will be difficult though. Only seven copies are being printed. Six of them are being given away to Friends of Rowling. The seventh is being auctioned off in December, starting at $62,000.

The key question: How long before the full text is available on the internet?

Back from SteaknShake a little earlier than I expected. My laptop battery was fully charged, whereas several others weren’t, so as the tables started to empty, I decided to take it home. However, I’m likely to put it aside for the night and get a couple more hours sleep, because that will be good for my work-survival tomorrow, and I could also use some time to think about where my plot is currently diverting, because I just began, and things are already going in weird places. Which is good - the characters are taking control — but my, these are strange characters.

Here’s the beginning of what I have written, for your enjoyment. I won’t be posting the entire novel here, but I will post some excerpts. Remember - the key to NaNoWriMo is not to care about the quality of what you are writing - not to care where the story is headed - to turn the internal editor off - let the characters take over - just allow the fingers to type - and never delete. That’s editing and comes later.

Novel title: The 93 Miserable Hunchbacks Who Laughed at Her Nanny
Novel genre: parody, humor

Prologue:

So long as there shall exist, by virtue of puritanical prudery, thin skins, and lack of humor, a vast wasteland of dull words, artificially creating chasms in the midst of uncivilized literature, complicating and boring the lives of generations of school students; so long as the three problems of literature – appropriate behavior, lack of action, and long sentences – are not eliminated; so long as in certain classrooms death by boredom is still possible, — in other words, and from a still wider point of view, so long as library shelves are filled with volumes of no interest to 90% of the land – books such as this cannot be useless. – John Newmark, Steak n Shake, Manchester Rd, November 1, 2007 12:10 am.

Chapter One

In the year 7d7, Henry Charles Albert David Bumblebee was the Head Wizard of Dinge. He was 4b years old and had held the Wizardry since 7cf.

The following has absolutely nothing to do with the tale, but it may be useful to mention a few characteristics about Harry Bumblebee’s childhood. You may not want to believe them, and as the reader, you are free not to believe anything you choose, however, if you don’t believe these things, you will be wrong. Harry enjoyed eating peanut butter and banana sandwiches, reading telephone directories, and he had an unnatural relationship with a turtle. I could have refrained from mentioning these things, since they are, as I said, immaterial to the tale, and maybe only told you years from now, upon being asked by a reporter what Harry Bumblebee ate for lunch, or what he thought about terrapins, and then you may have been upset, because you thought Harry would be more of the sort to eat grilled cheese sandwiches, or perhaps you would think he would lean towards relationships with squirrels, like most wizards, but better word warpers than I have been attacked for such.

Harry’s mother was Elizabeth Alexandra Mary, known throughout the land as the most creative wearer of bananas. But due to Harry’s taste for peanut butter and banana sandwiches, he would eat every banana she bought to wear, so in the end Harry was kicked out of the home and forced to fend for himself.

At age f, Harry was sitting on a park bench when Edwin Burnaby Bumblebee’s green carriage came by. Harry stared at the carriage, thinking of terrapins. Edwin Burnaby Bumblebee stopped the carriage and asked, “Who is this twerp staring at my carriage?”

“You are looking at a perverted kid, and I at a twisted man. We both may profit from it.”

“I like your ears,” Burnaby said. He took Harry into his home, taught him the art of wizardry, gave him a new last name, and his first pair of magic boxer shorts.

34 years later, Harry arrived at Dinge accompanied only by a giant sea turtle named Alice of Battabug. Dinge’s prior wizard had the more common affectation for squirrels, which only require a few trees and a continuous supply of nuts, which were in great supply. In order to satisfy their new Head Wizard they had to allow him to convert a hospital next door to the Wizard Roost into a pool for the sea turtle to swim in. This they gladly did, as Harry Bumblebee’s magical prowress was known throughout the land. However, this left them without a hospital. Harry promised he would use his powers to make certain no one in Dinge ever was in the need of a hospital. The local populace cheered, except for the medical community, which was rather upset at the loss of business. So they moved elsewhere, to towns with less powerful wizards in the Roost. The population of Dinge also grew as word began to spread.

For those who need it, here’s a hexadecimal converter.

Points go to those who figure out where the given names for my characters so far have come from.