I could only get through the first five of this year’s Darwin Awards before my laughter became too much. Some prime examples of stupidity.

1)The leopard (Panthera pardus) is an Old World mammal of the Felidae family and the smallest of the four ‘big cats’ of the genus Panthera, along with the tiger, lion, and jaguar.

more information

It also requires X mb of Ram to install Leopard on a Mac computer
and my iBook currently has (1/2)x. However, the price of Ram has dropped over the years, and so this is just a small obstacle that will be resolved upon my return.

There is also a requirement of y mb of available hard drive space, and coincidentally, I have (1/2)y available. However, this is even easier to fix since I have something like 3y mb of music mp3s which can all be moved to an external backup drive.

Woke up in San Juan, PR hotel
Breakfast: Banana, OJ from hotel complimentary breakfast
Purchased souvenir cap from PR airport since I left hat at home, and while I tend to deny that I don’t have a full head of hair, denial doesn’t change facts.
Plane ride in 8-seater to Virgin Gorda
Lunch: Banana Daiquiri, Fritters, salad with shrimp
Grocery shopping in town (not all meals are eaten out) Bought a little snack to contribute to a NYE gathering I will be attending. (No details, as I do wish it to be a surprise, but I suspect at least one reader of this blog will enjoy the contribution. No, Bob, I haven’t yet seen what you requested.)
Read a chapter of book that I received from my boss as a holiday gift: The Dead Travel Fast: Stalking Vampires from Nosferatu to Count Chocula, by Eric Nozum. So far it is a humorous, and informational read.
Dinner: Banana Daiquiri, 1/2 Jerk Chicken Wrap, 1/2 Mahi Mahi wrap (my brother-in-law had the other halves) Fries
Tested out the DSL connection at the villa we are renting.

Comment from an anonymous member of the family: “The cell phones work this year, the blackberries work, and we have DSL for the first time. We need to find a new island.”

Of course, for me, the DSL isn’t a connection to work I am trying to avoid. The DSL is a connection to friends and fun. I will only log on after the sun has gone down. But I won’t have a 1000 unread msgs this year when I get home.

I also won’t do this itemization every day.

I will spend some time this week at the last beach in this video

Of all the amateur vacation videos I’ve found on YouTube, this one does the best job of displaying VG in its fun and splendour. However, note, it is a 5 minute video, but after three minutes, when the screen goes black…it stays black…so you don’t have to watch the last two minutes, unless you really want to. I have no idea who the people are.

was taken with the built-in camera of an XO computer from the One Laptop Per Child project. It arrived today.

I leave town Friday morning.
I really should have begun packing tonight.
But there’s always tomorrow night.

Phil Ochs would have turned 67 today.

Hunger and Cold
By Phil Ochs

I’ve been all around your dirty old city.
Been all around your dirty old town.
I’ve slept in your alleys; I’ve slept in your subways.
Hunger and cold, they follow me down.

Chorus:
Hunger and cold, hunger and cold
I wouldn’t mind but I’m growing so old.
But as low as I am, you know I’m still a man.
And I wouldn’t mind but I’m growing so old.

Only last year I was rolling in money.
Only last year the good times would roll.
Only last year my friends were so many,
But only last year was so long ago.

(Chorus)

It’s all so easy to throw me in prison.
It’s all so easy to just walk on by.
But it’s not so easy to see a man hungry.
It’s not so easy to look in his eye.

(Chorus)

Yes there’s poison in my cheap rotten liquor.
There’s poison in every old garbage can.
But the worst kind of poison Is in your own brain
When you look at me and forget I’m a man.

Back in 2004, I learned I was in the Southwest quadrant of Politopia.

I am still in the Southwest quadrant, according to the Political Compass (nearby the Dali Lama and Mandela)

This graphic of where the Presidential Candidates fall

illustrates quite well, I think, why
1) I am not thrilled with most of the Democratic candidates
2) Why I am even less thrilled with the GOP
3) Why some people say they see no difference between the GOP and Democrats, and refer to the US as a Single-Party system in disguise.

I did this meme last year, might as well do it again this year.

Instructions:
List the first sentence from the first post for each month in 2007. Twelve sentences.

• I’m back.
• Imagine that.
• I don’t have a paraph.
• April is National Poetry Month.
• May 1, 1886 – Chicago – Haymarket Square.
• How did I miss this!
• Have you not heard of this website?
• Had a few minutes to spare this afternoon: If asked, I wonder how many people would guess the American League team that has gone the longest without finishing dead last.
• Happy Labor Day.
• Don’t watch this video if: 1) You are diabetic, and can’t handle extreme amounts of sweetness 2) You have a phobia of kittens.
• Back from SteaknShake a little earlier than I expected.
• There’s a major thematic correlation between Hanukkah and Thanksgiving

I still don’t have a paraph.
One line is actually the same from last year.
But that’s not the only repeated post I discovered doing this meme.

Since PAD confessed, I feel I should confess too.

Though his steroid usage was recent, mine was 21 years ago. Doctor prescribed. Nurse fed. I was almost completely paralyzed from the neck down, so it wasn’t like I could say no when they stuck the drugs inside my mouth.

I’m not paralyzed anymore. So, obviously, it must have been the steroids that did the trick.

I don’t recall lifting any buicks, or 37 hour marathons, but my access to buicks in the hospital to attempt to lift were sparse. What happened between me and my nurses I’d like to keep private.

I received an email a little earlier today:

Subject: John Newmark added you as a friend on Facebook…
Body: John added you as a friend on Facebook. We need you to confirm that you are, in fact, friends with John.

To confirm this friend request, follow the link below:
[link]

Thanks,
The Facebook Team

—
Yes, I have an account on Facebook.
No, I didn’t send myself a friend request.
I’m not *that* desperate.

My first thought was this was a spam message. I’ve gotten messages *supposedly* sent from myself before. But usually I want me to buy drugs in those messages, and usually I ignore them. Because I was taught to just say no.

So I didn’t click on the email link. Too risky, that. I just typed Facebook’s URL into my browser by hand. And voila – there was a friend request waiting for me. From myself. Though the picture next to my request didn’t look like me.

So I sent myself a message. Thought about quoting Admiral Stockdale. “Who am I and what am I doing here?” But I went for something a little more mundane.

We shall see how I respond.

(There are those who say that talking to oneself is ok, as long as you don’t answer. I might be in trouble.)