Monthly Archives: September 2008

Quick! Call Chevy Chase!

Saturday Night Live needs to call Chevy Chase. He hasn’t been on the set for years, but he was great at portraying a president who admitted he couldn’t walk and chew gum at the same time.

Now that a presidential candidate has pretty much admitted to the same thing, it’s gotta be good for at least one guest appearance. (Hopefully it’s not a long-term assignment.)

Today is:

National Punctuation Day.

No, this is not the day where we celebrate being on time. That would be: “National Punctuality Day”. (In Britain, putting the period after the quotation mark would be proper. Here in America, it is improper usage. This is the type of discussion National Punctuation Day encourages.)

Learn what Punctuation Man has to say about the serial comma.

And, of course, the book, Eats, Shoots & Leaves, could be the official book of National Punctuation Day. (I’m not saying it is, just that it could be.)

Yes, I’m posting a chain e-post

Not sure if this activates the curse or not, as I’m not forwarding a chain-email, I am posting a chain-email that was turned into a chain e-post. Additionally, the poster didn’t insist I post it forward, it’s intended for humor, and finally, it was Wil Wheaton.

REQUEST FOR URGENT CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP
From: Minister of the Treasury Paulson

Subject: REQUEST FOR URGENT CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP

Dear American:

I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.

I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.

I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.

This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.

Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.

Yours Faithfully
Minister of Treasury Paulson

Yes, I’m posting a chain e-post

Not sure if this activates the curse or not, as I’m not forwarding a chain-email, I am posting a chain-email that was turned into a chain e-post. Additionally, the poster didn’t insist I post it forward, it’s intended for humor, and finally, it was Wil Wheaton.

REQUEST FOR URGENT CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP
From: Minister of the Treasury Paulson

Subject: REQUEST FOR URGENT CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP

Dear American:

I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.

I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.

I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.

This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.

Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.

Yours Faithfully
Minister of Treasury Paulson

Never Again

Me: I believe what Hitler attempted to do is rid this world of Judaism.

Palin: I believe that what President Bush has attempted to do is rid this world of Islamic extremism.

Yes. They aren’t identical. Palin used the modifier: Extremism.

So, if Hitler only attempted to rid this world of Orthodox Judaism, or maybe just the Chassidic Jews, that would have been OK? A war to rid the world of just the Roman Catholics would be OK – because, you know, that’s not all Catholics.

No. I have absolutely no desire to rid the world of Christian Extremism. They have every right to worship as they please. Those who bomb abortion clinics, or commit other acts of violence, need to be dealt with as appropriate for their crimes, but their religion is irrelevant. Those who seek to ban books, or return organized prayer to public schools, need to be opposed in the free market place of ideas. I hope the words that I “desire to rid the world of __insert religious group here__” would never escape my lips.

I can accept a war against Terrorism. I don’t think such a war will be won in my lifetime, as terrorism will last as long as war lasts, and I suspect I will not live to see the Messianic Age. If there is resurrection at the End of Days, maybe I will be lucky and be among the resurrected. But I can accept a war against individual terrorists when they arise. But their religious identification should be irrelevant. No, not should be, it needs to be.

The Importance of Backup

My beloved Mac iBook which I have had for several years won’t boot, I get a folder with a question mark when I try to start up. And while I have followed all the suggestions in the online support documents, I haven’t had success.

I have scheduled an appointment tomorrow morning with the local Apple Retail Store at their Genius Bar. We’ll see how much of a genius the bartender is, and whether or not s/he can get it working without initializing the hard drive.

I’m not in horrible shape if all is lost. I would have been in much worse shape a year ago, but my backup system has improved greatly in the last year.

I have an external 200gb hard drive — though the last time I backed up to it was several months ago. But when I did, I backed up everything.

I also have a wristwatch with 4gb of storage. I’ve backed up much more recently to that (I like the idea that if there is a fire, the only thing I really need to grab, besides the cat I am caring for for a friend, is my watch.)

I don’t have room to save everything there, but I was saving what I consider my most important stuff. My fiction and poetry writing, as well as my family history research.

I think my primary losses will be a few downloads from iTunes (primarily the Dr. Horrible video), and I’ve heard they sometimes allow you to re-download lost items for free. And some personal photographs I took — though the most important ones I ended up emailing to friends or family so I have at least a reduced-size image stored in my Gmail Sent Mail folder.

Old hard drive declared deceased by M.E. (Mac Examiner). New hard drive has been ordered. It will take 10-14 days. Luckily I have a work laptop PC so I can access my Gmail account, and the internet, so I still have some connectivity.

Advice from Mark Twain:

A friend introduced me to a wonderful quote by Mark Twain today. I went in search of the source, and discovered it was a quote of Mark Twain from an interview with Rudyard Kipling. The quote I was given ends the excerpt below.

“Personally I never care for fiction or story-books. What I like to read about are facts and statistics of any kind. If they are only facts about the raising of radishes, they interest me. Just now, for instance, before you came in,” — he pointed to an encyclopaedia on the shelves — “I was reading an article about ‘Mathematics.’ Perfectly pure mathematics.

“My own knowledge of mathematics stops at ‘twelve times twelve,’ but I enjoyed that article immensely. I didn’t understand a word of it; but facts, or what a man believes to be facts, are always delightful. That mathematical fellow believed in his facts. So do I. Get your facts first, and “– the voice dies away to an almost inaudible drone – “then you can distort ’em as much as you please.”

— “Interview with Mark Twain”, From Sea to Sea: Letters of Travel, by Rudyard Kipling.